baby #2 blog

When we found out that I was pregnant again I started a hidden blog just to record my feelings. We knew we didn't want to tell anyone for a while, but I wanted to record my emotions. I still have tons to blog about our awesome vacation, but until I get pictures off my camera somehow I will just post the blogs I wrote about baby #2

ALMOST PREGNANT
My period was late in January, I was pretty sure. Ever since Molly came to us my monthly visitors have been getting farther apart. I suppose its possible that it just feels that way, though. After holding your newborn in your arms and having to say goodbye to her forever before you ever put her down, your arms are left longing for a baby. We missed Molly terribly, but knowing exactly where she is and that we will see her again has made the healing process much easier. By no means has it been easy, but easier. We will raise her, but we just have to wait. In the meantime, we waited to feel right about it and then decided to try having a baby.

We stopped trying to prevent it in December, but weren't very serious about it. In January, the same thing for the first two weeks and then about half way through the month we went to the temple and felt the strongest feeling that it would be a good time to start taking it seriously and try for another baby. Then during one of my classes there were beautiful quotes presented about the importance of family and starting one as soon as you can. I felt right, so we got down to business to say the least.

Come the end of the month and I was pretty sure that mother nature's gift was about 2 days late, and could think of nothing else but taking a home pregnancy test. So, instead of driving to class where I should have been, I turned the car to the north and headed for the local Walgreens.

I didn't want to take it at home. I felt like if it said No that Lucas would be so disappointed in me for wasting the money when my period could easily come any day now. But I had to know. So I purchased the little box of hope and instead of leaving the store I quickly took it out of the little plastic bag, and had the box opened before I made it completely into the stall. I was nervous and excited.

* * * Pause for testing * * *

Staring at that little stick is crazy. Its like doing a simple chemistry test but this time the outcome affects more than your grades. It affects your whole life.
It only took a few seconds and the word "Pregnant" appeared on the screen.
My free hand immediately rested on my belly, and I smiled. For the moment it seemed that our dream of raising a baby in this lifetime was actually going to happen. Quickly I threw out the garbage, washed up, and ran outside. I nearly knocked over an employee who was mopping as I ran out of the store.

"Sorry, I'm so sorry! I'm pregnant!" I dont know why I said it, but I didn't care. Lucas and I knew that this time around we wanted to be more private about our pregnancy journey. Its hard to have everyone so involved in something that affects you so much. Sometimes it's easier to just cling to each other for dear life and hope everything works out for the best.

So I drove as fast as I could without being reckless and found Lucas asleep on the couch. I was going to wake him up with a stick in his face to let him know he was a Daddy again. This is exactly how he found out about Molly, too. I thought about waiting, but I never want him to be out of the loop when it comes to our children. Plus I'm incredibly impatient.

So he slowly woke up, as he seemed to notice I was home, though I should have been in class and looks at the time and says "Hey, you're here early" I walked to the kitchen, hiding my present. "Yeah, I uh. I have something." I walked up to him and held out the stick. I honestly can't remember what he said. I remember that we both felt happy and we hugged. We joked and he touched my belly, as he always does when he realizes I'm not alone. We quickly took a picture of me with the little stick of proof and then sat around talking about it.

He mentioned that he would have liked to have been there when I found out, which made me feel guilty for my continued impatience. But we were happy. We figured that this time we would really get to have a baby home for Christmas.

However, as we suddenly thought of the road ahead of us, we lost some of our excitement. Suddenly, the question is what we knew it would be, "Is the baby okay?" As we thought about that, we thought about that this meant we were moving on. Our little family was no longer just us and Molly. Molly was becoming more and more a part of our past, and I didn't want that. As I missed her, the belief of having a healthy baby enter our lives didn't seem likely.

So, I put my backpack on and went back to school. In my next class I felt like I had a secret and kept thinking about it. I wanted so badly to believe that this time everything would be okay. I wanted it so badly.

That night I went to bed after taking a prenatal I still had from last time. Lucas and I kissed goodnight, anxious for the long 9 or so months ahead of us(minus two or three weeks).

The next morning, I woke up and ate breakfast. I went to the bathroom and noticed a little blood in the water. My heart sank, but my mind almost instantly accepted the idea, as if it had already expected it. I knew that this early, blood is never good.
It was just a tiny bit, so I held onto hope that it was just implantation bleeding.

I let Lucas know and he seemed to express the exact same feelings I had. He looked like he was sad but not surprised. It really is hard to feel like this is going to happen. Just hours later, I knew this was not implantation bleeding. I was in the throws of losing our baby.

Had I not known that I had been pregnant, I would have assumed this was a normal monthly visitor and just lasted longer than usual. But there was no denying it, our baby was gone. Something was wrong, and my body had not allowed the pregnancy to continue. It was possibly just a chemical pregnancy, as well. Could have done all it needed to but been unable to implant and come out with the regular period.

It really is sad to know how easily we accepted it. I didn't even cry.
I was happy to have a little more time with Molly as our only child, and humbled to know that this trial continues for us.

As a kid I used to believe that I would be unable to have children. It suddenly felt like this might be the case. However, we knew it was just the first month, and we would keep trying. Our guards were up, though. I fear that we will never be able to approach a pregnancy with the ignorant bliss we had the first time. It is a terrifying 9 months, and the idea of a healthy baby coming home seems nothing short of a miracle. So with fingers crossed, we kept our expectations low, and our hope barely breathing.

IMPATIENT
As I said before, I struggle with patience. You would think that waiting for Molly would make me better at it, however when it comes to the idea of having children I can hardly wait. I want to know the second I'm pregnant and I want to have them here as soon as possible. I would love to have 6 at a time, if I could. I would even adopt right now even with the chance of getting pregnant.

So each month since the chemical pregnancy/miscarriage passed very slowly. I waited and waited and then as soon as my period was due I would find that I could focus on nothing else. This time Lucas made me wait until at least a few days past, and even then it took some major convincing and pouty faces to get him to agree to test it.

Here's our mindset difference:
~ I always assume that it will say yes. I picture finding out and starting the journey. The idea of it saying no seems impossible. I'm too positive, even with my expectations for the outcome of pregnancy low.
~ Lucas sees me after it says no. He feels the sting of feeling like the clock is ticking and we still sit home alone every night. He hates the idea of both losing the money on a test and then having my period start, and the feeling of having our hopes up as we wait and then seeing the stick say "this is never going to happen"

So my glass is too full, and his is reasonably low. I am selectively looking at the facts, and he wisely looks at all of them and then choosing a slightly pessimistic solution.

So the end of the last few months comes with me slowly getting more and more anxious and him trying to hold off my excitement just a few more days in case that monthly visitor decides to come over.

Beginning of April came and my period was late again. Just a couple days, but the constant curiosity starts as soon as I realize that there is a chance. We were in Colorado and I begged Lucas to agree to come get a test and be there to see the results with me. He was unsure, knowing that my period could start as soon as I take it. I was positive I was pregnant. The last few weeks I was unusually grumpy, way more emotional than the usual PMS, and I wanted it so bad I could taste it.

Finally, he gives in. We drive to the store late at night with the excuse of buying Lucas a snack. He gets himself a box of donuts, and I get my favorite thing...a pregnancy test. We leave and sneak into my parents house. That night, after we talk with my family, we sat in the bathroom staring at the stick.

The control line appears, and then no second line. We wait for it to become a positive. To see even the slightest of a hint that there is a positive, but after five minutes there is no denying that it is not going to appear.

My eyes teared up a little with disappointment. THis meant that one- I am not pregnant, most likely. and two- I am this grumpy and emotional because I was just being a crazy girl. How annoying and disappointing.

I decided to take another test in the morning, better to use that early morning stuff, I heard.

Around 7 am, I woke up and could think of nothing else but the slim chance there still was. I went into the bathroom after nudging Lucas to tell him I was taking it. He didnt even get out of bed. He knew.

It said no, and before I even left the bathroom I felt a familiar feeling as mother nature mocked me with her horrible timing and let me know that she has the worst timing ever.

I was crushed. I let Lucas know, and he rubbed my back as we layed in bed. "I'm sorry, hunny bun" he said. My eyes watered and I accepted it. I figured that next time, I was going to just wait. I wasn't going to think about it until suddenly my belly is huge and I only have a month to go.

Yeah right.

Magic 8 Ball
It had been 35 days since my last period in Colorado. That is usually about how far about they have been the last few months. I had tried not to think about it all month, which actually helped me to relax about it and Lucas and I were able to ....try more. *wink wink*

At 35 days, though, we both became aware that this is about when we should expect the monthly disappointment. But with each bathroom trip with no new development I felt increasing anxiety to take a test. Could I be more predictable?

I only waited one day, and then I started mentioning to Lucas that I want to take a test. All day I slipped it into conversation as if I was talking about a school test, almost in a silly or day to day task way. He would smile and give me the look that says, "You know how you will feel when it says no. Dont put us through that"

He was right. Plus, we had decided that this time to combat my impatience we would agree that he was in charge of when we test. So that afternoon we drove past a Walgreens and I eyed it, yearning to get a test. Desperately wanting to know. Lucas slowed down and said, "I can get one" but the defeat in his voice made me so guilty I said, "No. You get to tell us when this time. It's up to you." Knowing he really believes that my period would come the next day, he sped up again and we went home.

I could think of nothing else. I did some homework, and would always end up on pregnancy sites calculating my potential due date. Then in an effort to respect what Lucas wants for once, I had to distract myself with something. In my mind I begin thinking, Why can't I just be lucky enough to not feel guilty taking a test? Is there really anything wrong with knowing? Why can't he be as excited as me? Its better to know than not to know. I wish he wanted to know right now, like I do. I'll just wait. I was trying to think of anything that would make me feel like this was my decision alone, and that it didn't affect him just as much. As I thought this I was also folding laundry in silence (this is weird for me. I am always humming some song or making weird noises as if I had any cool rapping abilites) I was cleaning and scrubbing and finally I just sat stiffly on the couch and stared at the turned off TV.

I wasn't meaning to show how antsy I was, but Lucas can read me like a book. Finally he got up, walked into the bedroom and came out with my shoes. He put them on the counter and went and got me a jacket then held it out and said, "Amber, just go get one. It's okay and it's driving you crazy. Just go get a test."

I was so overwhelmed with loving him and excitement and sad that my impatience didn't really let him decide yet again, that I just started crying. (I'm really such a baby)

I layed on the couch, covered my face with embarassment and said "Are you sure?"
"Amber, you can't even function. It's really okay. Just go get a test" He brings me my jacket which I put on slightly guiltily but mostly nervous as I realize its another chance.

I drove to the closest grocery store, which also happens to sell pregnancy tests for the most expensive price (like 25 dollars for the good kind) and if you want a test you have to have it unlocked from a glass case as if its something dangerous.

My guess is that they lock them up because in a primarily LDS community, the local teen pregnancy would be more tempted to steal a test than to give herself away. So they dont let you hide it here.

I ran to get an associate and he opened the box for me, I saw him check my ring finger and then look slightly foggy at the idea of the world I lived in. He was probably 17 or so. I pick a pretty cheap test, but not the cheapest because i worried it wouldn't even work.

I went to the quick lane and was back in the car in a flash. I drove home quickly, the test in the box yelling "HURRY UP! HURRY UP! I CAN TELL YOU THINGS!" WHen I got home I came inside and acted like I was okay. I set the box on the counter, kissed Lucas and thanked him over and over for letting me get the test. Then I told him I was going to take it.

* * * Pause for testing * * *

I set the stick on the counter and tried not to look at it as I washed and waited for the results. I couldnt help but glance and thought I saw a negative line that was not completely straight. Weird. I went into the kitchen and told Lucas it needed a few minutes. Then we waited.

I suddenly wanted him to be the one to make the final call. It would help him experience a bit of what I do when I do this. So with my fingers crossed I sat on the stool and said, "Lucas, will you check? I want you to tell me" Before he went in to read it I was suddenly filled with doubt. I'm sure as I sit here my monthly visitor is only hours away. I am sure that he is going to look at the stick and think "my wife has no ability to wait"

Lucas walks into the bathroom and comes out and doesn't say anything.

I can't even think.

He walks back in. Then he walks back out and doesn't look happy.

"It's negative isn't it?" I ask.  He looks confused so I say "Wait, is it positive?!" He makes a confused face and says nothing. I stand up and go to look myself.

As I walk to him he goes, "I'm not really sure, I tried to give it another minute"

Not sure? what?!?!

SO I look and there I see the control line bright blue. The negative line is solid blue. Very very faintly there seems to be another line that would indicate that I was indeed pregnant. It was so faint we didn't know to trust it or not.

I had more hope than before, and thought that that line wouldnt even faintly appear if I wasn't pregnant, right? So we waited longer and slowly it gets a little less faint, but never dark enough for us to trust it.

I say, "I think that's a yes. I think"
Lucas kinda laughs and says "Its like reading an 8 ball"

We decided to hope it said yes, but to wait a week and if my period did not come we would test again and hope for a more sure yes. If it happens than we get comfortable for the difficult journey of pregnancy.

FEELING GOOD PAST 40
It has been 42 days since my last run-in with the magic blue fluid. I'm feeling PRETTY good that that faint line may have actually meant something really is brewing in this cookie-loving belly of mine. I had to work today and its pretty slow, and I have been unable to keep myself off of google. I keep checking all the due date calculators to see what my possible due date would be. Looks like its somewhere between January 15th and 21st. A New Years baby (babies?) by chance?
If by chance I ovulated really late, I may be growing a little of this

According to one chart at five weeks pregnant our little one(s) look something like this

But fingers crossed, if our little pea is 6 weeks along, I'm packin' one of these

It sure would be nice to know for sure if we are going to be parents again soon for sure. I guess you are supposed to wait until 10 weeks until you go in for the first ultrasound. So I'm thinking we wait like 4 and a half to five weeks and go see what we can see. Fingers crossed that this is for real!!!!

I probably shouldn't mention this, but I would NOT be upset at all if the Lord decided to bless us with more than one this time.

We keep dreaming of twins, and it makes us want 2 at once. Or maybe it's our fear of pregnancy so 2 in 1 sounds great. Maybe its both. Maybe its twins?

LOOKING IT?NOPE FEELING IT? NOPE
It is hard to accept that I am pregnant, which we pretty much have done, because it is now May 26th and I haven't had a period since April 10th. I'd say that that and the super super faint positive tells us that there is a baby on the way.

However, its weird that we both feel like it can't happen. Its hard to get excited at all, like I wish I could. Today Lucas said,
"I bet something happened and your body just thinks it's pregnant" We both keep thinking it will probably be ectopic. It's hard to have the faith we desire.

I started taking folic acid vitamins the other day, just in case. And I am trying to eat only fruits and vegetables...just in case.

I guess when my period is like...ten weeks late, we should probably get an ultrasound or go to a Dr. or something.

I really want to go to Agape Birthing Center. It's in Rigby, which is 15 minutes south of here. The drive will probably seem ridiculously long when the big day comes (when and if I am really pregnant) but I really dont want to go to a hospital. I want to do it medicine free, and be able to move and birth however I want to. I want Lucas to be more involved than he would be allowed to at a hospital. I want to be able to get in the bath if I need to. Its the next best thing to giving birth at home, which I dont know if I would feel that comfortable with, especially after Molly.

In case it is twins or for any reason they are concerned, I'm sure I will have to deliver by Cesarean again, and if that is the case than there is no doubt I'll be int he hospital. But better to have a healthy baby than a dream delivery.

Fingers crossed!

SMELLY CAR
Yesterday we got some pizza.
Today the car still smelled like it. It smelled HORRIBLE.
I seemed to be the only one who was dying for fresh air.



I think that's a good sign.

SEVEN WEEKS?
If, by chance, we are seven weeks pregnant, then we've got a sweet little monkey bean to call our own.

It is so exciting and nerve wracking to imagine that there may already be a little heart beating, tiny webbed fingers, and a cute little monkey face in here somewhere.

Is it possible to already love something that we aren't sure is there?

I'm scared to believe it, even though the signs have started coming and the biggest sign (no monthly visitor) are all here. We just don't want to get hurt again. We don't want to go through another loss.

If the outcome cannot be changed, is it better to know and worry all along, or to be unaware and worry free for a while? I go back and forth.

We played racquetball today, and Lucas made a motion at my belly with his hands moving in a circle like drawing around my belly and said "Careful, honey"
It helps me believe this could happen when Lucas believes it could happen. I love him.

FIRST ULTRASOUND
Well, our first ultrasound was interesting and informative to say the least.

I have been very worried that this was going to be an ectopic pregnancy, because I have had random pain shooting through my lower abdomen whenever I twist when I'm getting up off the couch, or off a chair, or out of bed. As soon as we found a place that would take the BYU-I student insurance, we made an appointment for Friday a couple hours after our classes.

We were both so nervous for the next couple days and just kept thinking about it. I've said it before, but it felt like we were getting on the worlds most fun roller-coaster, but there is a chance that at the bottom of the hill we would run right into a brick wall. Stepping onto the ride is worth it. It's just hard to forget the brick wall could be looming there. Bringing all our hopes to an end.

Friday came, and I could not focus on anything important. I had a huge test to take, and didn't study at all in the morning because I couldn't get my mind to focus on anything but the ultrasound later. Lucas and I sat pretty silently in the car, both nervous and excited.

After briefly getting lost we finally found the Women's Clinic and went inside. We filled out a bunch of paperwork, which was hard because of the medical and unfriendly/uncaring way of asking about Molly. Previous Pregnancies__2____ Miscarriages ___1___ Cesareans ___1___ Carried to term____1___ alive____0___

I hated that zero. It would surely bring up tons of medical questions that, yes, they need to know, but I was sure they would handle it poorly. Most people in the medical world have a "seen it before" kind of attitude.

After we turned in the paperwork, we we called back to the nurses office. We would start with the Ultrasound. I was pretty sure I was 8.5 weeks along, but knew there was a chance I ovulated late so I was curious to see. We went back down a long hallway, and the super friendly tech said "I'll be doing your ultrasound today." and smiled very kindly, realizing that it may be awkward for me to talk to the person who will be ...seeing a bit too much of me. But she was really nice, and I guess I've developed a bit of the "seen it before" attitude as well.

She takes us into the room and I am super nervous as I see the ultrasound screen, the stirrups (gulp) and the big comfy chair for Lucas. She gives me a robe and asks me to go take off everything from the waist down and give them a urine sample. I get it done with a knot in my stomach. This is it. Brace for bad news.

So awkward happens and in just a minute we are looking at the screen waiting for the image of our baby to come on the screen.

We have had dreams of twins for months now. We prayed and told the Lord we would love them if we were supposed to have them. So imagine my surprise when I see two black sacs appear on the screen!

I noticed it before she pointed it out, though. There were definitely twin sacs. But, one was empty and one clearly had a little heart beat filled bean in it. I hoped she would move around and I would see a second baby, but I didn't. She pointed out our baby and its little heartbeat.

I was thrilled, but also a little sad to see that there was no second baby in that sac. I am beyond grateful to see one healthy baby forming, but the months of dreaming and hope and then to come so close was a bit of a let down. I got over it, and couldn't stop staring at our second little baby.

The tech explained where the head was, the "tail" and where the heartbeat was. It turns out I was 7 weeks and 1 day pregnant, so only a little behind where we thought, no big deal. She pointed out the sac and said "It looks like it started out with two in there, but nothing formed in the second sac." I looked at Lucas, we were both surprised, but I could tell he was disappointed, too. "That sac will probably be absorbed in the next few weeks, had you not had an early ultrasound you probably would never have known!" Looks like it would have been fraternal twins, which confuses me because as far as I know there are no twins in my family history. Tells me it was a bit of a miracle that didn't quite work out.

Both me and the baby had a perfectly strong heartbeat, and as she checked my ovaries and uterus she found that I had a cist on my right ovary, which is what caused the pain I was feeling (SO THRILLED it's not ectopic) She then looked around and said, "Did you know you have a curved uterus? Has anyone ever told you that?" I said that I had not known, but didn't know what she meant or if it was a big deal so I just kept staring at our baby.

The ultrasound finished and I got dressed, my mind spinning with thoughts of twins and our one healthy baby, if this means we could have twins in the future, and what inthe world a curved uterus means.

In another room, we waited until a practitioner came in to talk to us. She took a while to come in and when she did she said that she had a lot figured out from this ultrasound.

Turns out I have a bicornuate uterus or a "heart shaped" uterus. This is why Molly was always on one side, and this baby is implanted in the same side. They aren't sure how heart shaped it is, but it can be dangerous. She rolled her eyes when we said they hadn't noticed at any of our other appointments. She explained that the vanishing twin would reabsorb, but that we would need to be kept a close eye on because of the shape of my uterus and our history with Molly. (We gave her the quick story) She said I would receive many more ultrasounds and blood work to make sure everything was okay. It was possible we may need to deliver early if things get scary.

Even though it sounds scary and like a lot of tests and poking and prodding, I began to cry because I was so relieved to hear that they were taking this seriously. They were going to watch us closely. They weren't going to let us lose another one.

When she left, Lucas told me that he had a really good feeling about this place. We have thought about where we want to go, and had originally thought that we would go to a more "natural" place with no doctors and just midwives. But this felt better. Natural works, but apparantly I'm pretty high risk, so we feel good and taken care of here.

We both breathed a little easier. We were given a bunch of magazines and set an appointment for three weeks later to have blood tests done and possibly another ultrasound.

Here we go.

EIGHT WEEKS
I am 8 and a half weeks pregnant today.
It still doesn't quite feel real, except that my belly looks like I just ate a big meal or I had a treat-filled week, haha.

The other day I began to get a migraine, my third one since we found out I was pregnant, and Lucas went and got me a caffeine filled soda, which I drank as quickly as possible and then sat with my head wrapped in a robe blocking the light for about an hour. Miraculously, the headache only danced lightly in my head and never fully attacked. I felt so loved I said a thank-you prayer like 3 times.

Smells do bother me, but not yet as badly as they did with Molly. Yesterday I could not handle having Moose on me because he has this bad habit of yawning whenever he is close to our faces. It was rancid. Other than dog breath aimed at my nose, I've done alright.

Also, fruit makes me sick, I think. Almost after I eat anything I feel sick to my stomach, but nothing comes up. It usually takes half an hour to an hour and I will feel better again until its time to eat. I have noticed it is worse when I eat fruit, so I am taking prenatals. (Although I just at a peach, and feel fine so far. We'll see)

I am excited for our next appointment. The days go quickly because of schoolwork, so it will be nice to watch this next month fly, and then we are in CO for a month, so that one will fly and before I know it I'll be half done brewing this baby!

I can't stop thinking about the almost-twin. Heavenly Father is so amazing, how he listened to our prayers. I'm not sure why the twin didn't form, but I know there is a lesson in it. I am trying not to wish too much that at the next ultrasound that other twin will have appeared. Its pretty unlikely.

But seriously, twins dont even run in my family. Seeing that we originally were pregnant with twins blew our minds and excited us. Life is so amazing.


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I dont know why but I stopped blogging there. It may be our crazy busy schedules but it also is because I've never been a consistant blogger. I'll try and do better. I am about to go take by 17.5 week belly photo :)

Guess what?!

Baby # 2 is due January 25th!

I'm currently 15 weeks along and so far everything is going well.

Here is a quick update on the last month:

We finished our school year, I didn't get a 4.0 but almost and since it was a killer semester I'll take it!
I finished Molly's memory book (almost- I couldn't let myself finish. As soon as I noticed I was almost done I started crying and am putting off doing the last page)
As soon as school ended we drove our neighbor Mary's moving truck from Rexburg to Ft. Collins and then drove to COLORADO!
We surprised our parents with a page in the back of Molly's memory book that said "Molly is going to be a big sister!" to let them know our big news.
We will be in Colorado until September 13th when we will go back to Rexburg to find out the sex of our baby!
We had a beautiful birthday memorial for Molly that will get it's own blog when i get pictures off my parents confusing camera.
We spent a weekend in Vernal at a short family reunion with my Dad's side of the family. Lucas caught a little bit of the boating/wakeboarding/tubing bug (YAY)
We got back to CO and went right to Grand Lake for a week with Lucas' family and did the following :
- Relaxed!
- Walked the main street in Grand Lake downtown and went into the little shops
- Went to Rocky Mountain National park and saw tons of Moose and Elk and a coyote.
-Saw a deer get hit by a car (SO SAD)
- Went bowling at an old bowling place where we had to keep our own score and I loved it.
- Played tons of games
- Did an 8 mile hike in the RMNP
- Kayaked on grand lake with Lucas and our Taylor brothers and sisters.
- Met my future new Brother-in-law, Jeff.
- Played mini golf (I lost big time, haha)
- Did the Alpine slide like 7 times.
- Ate delicious food both at pizza places and made by all the couples at the cabin
- Wathed the kids play at the beach
- Skipped rocks on a pond and made s'mores by the fire

Now we are home and can rest for a few days and remind Moose that we love him still before we leave for another week to LAKE POWELL.
Then we are home for another month waiting until Lucas' little sister, Hayley gets married this September! This is a much needed and wonderful break.

Plus, it doesn't hurt that its making time fly by and this pregnancy will already be half over when we get home.

So If I dont blog for a while, its because I'm out having too much fun :)

Lucas had a birthday shout Hooray!

I feel like I start all my blogs the same way I start my journal entries

"World Of Warcraft! I'm so bad at writing in this. I'm going to try and do better. It's been days/weeks/months"

Cereal though, I'm going to do better. Especially in three weeks when the Spring semester is OVER and we go to Colorado for a week, Grand Lake for a week, Lake Powell for either a week or four days, and Back to Colorado for a week. I just cannot wait. Yesterday I tried to convince Lucas to blow off our finals and just leave to be there for the 4th. He did not bite, so I bit him.

In the meantime, we are trying to get by on the fumes of what motivation we had when the semester started in the hopes that we can keep moving until it ends. There is no homework gas station in sight and my homework car is starting to make horrible sounds and it keeps rolling backwards a little bit on the big hills.
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Well, the real reason for this post was not to complain so I will stop it. It was to online belated celebrate Lucas turning 29! Hooray!! One year left of his 20's! I asked what he wanted to do and he basically said he wants to be a dad again and be done with school. Since those things takes nine months to 2.5 years to give him I made a last minute trip to Wal Mart and got him a charcoal BBQ grill. He hates gas ones and whenever he smells the charcoal ones he gets very happy/jealous. So, it may not be the prettiest grill in town, but here is Lucas using his new grill...

There is something sexy about a man making burgers. That and golfing, which we also did for his birthday.What a manly man I married--rawr.


He was pretty surprised because every year I just get him whatever he asks me for (This year is no exception...I also got him Sim City 4 for the mac because he had been begging for it. I gave it to him 2 weeks early so by the time his birthday came it felt wrong to not get him something else)

It was a good birthday and just like my gift to myself he did absolutely zero school work. Its a wonderful present. Better than backyard grilled hamburgers.

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In Moose world...
 there is a short haired little rat-dog running around our house. It is getting really hot out and he was beginning to pant just sitting in the apartment so we got him shaved. They left his face long so he kinda looks like a min-pin in the back and a scotty in the front. Cute still, somehow, but I want his long fur back. I'm sure he's happier though without that fur coat on all summer.

Moose did the dumbest thing the other day.  We got home from some errands and Moose jumped out of the car when we parked and ran away from us. We chased him down yelling "MOOSE! MOOSE! Come! **whistle whistle** COME!" and other such frantic attempts to catch a rebel dog.

Suddenly, horror of horrors, we see Moose run up to our neighbor with one thing on his mind. My neighbor is probably about 75 or so, and has a bit of a hard time getting around. Moose, out of reach, lifts his leg and we die slightly as he pees all over her feet. She just bent forward and stared at it as Lucas caught him and picked him up rather harshly and took him inside for a scolding. I apologize to Mary over and over and go inside. We want to hide forever out of embarrassment. Later I went to Mary's house to say sorry again and sat and talked with her for a couple hours. Her only thing to say was, "I thought it was too funny. Tells me my leg looks like a post!!"

After a day of Lucas giving Moose the silent treatment, I found them like this

Cant be mad forever.

Fathers Day and randoms

Fathers Day this year, just like Mothers Day, was bitter sweet. It was great to celebrate fathers and all that they are, but Lucas and I agreed it is sad to celebrate being a parent when there is no child at home.

Other than the weirdness and sadness of it, we had a great day. When Lucas' alarm went off and he went to get ready I went in the kitchen and made an Ihop inspired breakfast. Yummy scrambled eggs with sausage, red pepper, cheese, green onions, and pepper, orange juice, hash browns, and two pancakes on their own little plate. It was yummy, and Lucas ate all of his and then some more off my plate. That made me feel good :)

Being Sunday, Lucas had to leave for church pretty early, so I spent the morning by myself and then went to meet him at church. He looks so handsome sitting on the stand, and I can never stop looking and grinning at him. One day I made a really weird face at him and he laughed for like three whole minutes on the stand. Being married is amazing.

I think, if anybody has, Lucas has earned the right to be called a Father. He has more self control than anyone I've ever known. He knows who he needs to be, and what he wants and needs to do in order to get the chance to raise Molly, and he never quits. He's positive, righteous, kind, and hilarious. I bet Molly is as proud of him as I am!

After church, we lied around the house and then he opened his gifts, a new hat (too big. He has the smallest head ever.), some shorts, and the movie Battle: LA which we watched while eating Totinos pizza and cuddling. Great Fathers Day.


We also got to call our wonderful Dads, who we are BEYOND blessed to have. I am always talking about my Dad and growing up, and Lucas and I enjoy comparing our Fathers. Though they are different, they are both AMAZING.

Love you Dad! You are the most wonderful man, example, grandfather, parent, and friend. Your constant hard work is a beautiful display of your love for the family, and its hard to feel worthy of all you give us. Thank you for everything! I am grateful for you and for the opportunity it is to be your daughter!

Love you!

John,  Father-in-law of the world! You're the best! You have never once treated me like any less than your own daughter, and I appreciate the love you have shown me. Your example, humor, advice and friendship are some of the best gifts we have. We love you!!! Thank you for all you are!

 

I'm obsessed with our dog. He's so darn cute! Would you like to come play with us?

I thought you would find this entertaining. I have little to no organization while I work on Molly's memory book. I am the messiest scrapbooker in the world, probably. Here is what the room looked like when I called it a night...

Also, here are the flowers that Emily gave me for my Birthday and the Elephant my Dad got me in Nepal. <3 <3 <3 <3 Thank you!!!

Birthday and a little TMI

Birthdays are the BEST! (posting this a few days late, though :/)

In honor of my 24 years, I decided to spend 24 hours doing whatever I want! That's right, no guilt here. It has been 10 hours and 50 minutes and here is how they have been spent

midnight to 7:30 zonked out.

I dreamed I saw a little boy fall on his bike and hit his head. Nobody would help him and he didn't know his name or where he lived so I spent the rest of the dream trying to help him and carrying him all around town. Hospital closed. No doctor's offices around. Then he stole shampoo when I was talking to people at the hospital and I gave him a little lecture, hugged him and told him we would figure it out. Then there was a mysterious Hawaiian baby in my car and I returned him to his family.

7:30- Wake up (kinda) to Moose making soft grunting sounds that mean "I'm going to ruin your carpet in five minutes. Happy Birthday" I slide out of bed and put on Lucas' sweats and sweatshirt.

He rolls over and lowers his eyebrows and says "No. no I'll take him out. It's your birthday." His eyes close again. Just him thinking of my Birthday in his half out-of-it state made it worth it to get up. I whisper "Birthday people can go outside, too" and take Moose out.


7:37- Get back in bed. What a glorious feeling! I loved it. I sleep until 8:00 and wake up to Lucas rubbing my back and the smell of sausage cooking in the kitchen is filling the house.

8:05- Breakfast! Lucas made me egg McMuffins and orange juice which was all delicious! Even Moose got some, and we usually don't feed him anything but dog food. I thought I should share my many blessings.

8:15- Check my voice-mail and get a really cute message from my in-laws wishing me a Happy Birthday. Love it. Remember that I have had a present waiting to be opened for 2 months that I can finally open. Lucas gets it for me :)
Feel like a little kid when I open any gift. First, a Cricut cartridge that I have been wanting so I can finish Molly's book!!! Woo! and These super cool shoes!

Apparently I had tried them on before when I was half asleep and Susan wanted to know if they fit and trusted I would forget about them. They did fit, and I did forget about them. I did not realize I had seen them before, and felt cool for owning them.


8:20- Call M.I.L. and thank her for the gifts and her nice message. Talk to her for about 15 minutes and love that I married into such an amazing family.


8:35- Decide officially that I was not going to class. I can keep up online, and I just didn't want to go to classes on my birthday! Thank you birthday girl! You are welcome.

8:40- Lucas says he has a surprise for me, and runs out to the car. Comes back with a square under his shirt. He smiles and says "it's nothing big" I remind him he already got me a sewing machine but cant stop smiling at his cute excitement at getting something else. He first hands me a pack with like 60 pieces of gum (I always eat his gum like its m&m's. I cant stop and before I know it my mouth is full and I look like a cow. Now I had my own gum to do it with.) Then he pulls out a 1000 piece puzzle! I love puzzles, and the other day I did one that I have already done, and Moose at three pieces. I was so happy that he knows me so well that I crawled onto his lap and hugged him and kissed him. He's amazing.

8:50- Moose gets jealous that we are cuddly with out him and comes to get in the middle of it. We laugh and start to play with him.

8:55-9:25- Play with Moose and Lucas and we talk about what a beautiful and wonderful morning it is. Wish we did this more often. Check facebook and feel super duper loved by all the nice comments and messages.

9:30- Clean up a little while Lucas is in the shower.

9:40- Lucas gets out of the shower and has a new cologne on, he smells amazing and I hug him too long.

9:45- 10:00- Play with Moose, put some clean laundry away. Set my cool shoes on the dresser to look at until I can wear them.

10:15- Take the trash out. (I don't mind. I like it outside.) Get in the car and drive Lucas to school. See someone walking from really far away and give them a ride, which felt good.

10:30- Blog because I am feeling super duper happy about my life and my blessings and this beautiful birthday.

.......

That was as far as I got keeping track of things i did by the hour. haha.

The rest of my birthday was spent totally relaxing. I spent some time curled up under a blanket on the couch. I took a mid-day nap. I blogged. I did not look at my backpack one time. And I got THREE pages done on Molly's book. each page takes me SO long, so it felt really good to get so much done in one evening. Lucas and I also went out to eat when I randomly got hungry at 3 pm. We didn't get hungry again until it was too late to want to eat a full meal, so we just snacked on stuff. I talked to family on the phone, which is always a birthday treat, and went to bed as soon as I was tired. It was a beautiful and wonderful day and I did spend and entire 24 hours doing only things I wanted to do. :)

NOW...read on only if you are feeling brave and medical stuff doesn't bother you.
If you are content not knowing squirmy stuff...pretend this is the end of my post.






Still here, I see. Brave.




Okay, for like the last week or so I have been feeling this pain in my lower right abdomen every time I twist or bend to quickly. Sometimes it's bad when I am walking. So finally after one especially painful twist, we decide to go to the doctor.

Well, one ultrasound later and it appears I have 2 cysts on my right ovary. This should explain the pain. The doctor says she had one it it hurt her horribly before it popped on its own and the pain goes away.

So, we go home. The next couple days go by and it gets worse and worse, until Tuesday right after class. I get up and put my backpack on and the movement made the pain shoot through me. I had to take baby steps to my next class and try to move slowly to keep from crying.

When I sit it's okay. So I sat through the next class and felt fine. Forgot about it. Stood up and threw my backpack on. Again the twisting made it HORRIBLE. It seriously felt like I got stabbed in my lady parts. I baby stepped to the car, each step was horrible. When I got to the car where Lucas was waiting, I was crying. He helped me into the car and out of it when we got home. (He didn't even ask what was wrong with me, he just immediately got tender and started taking care of me. Love him.) I slowly inched upstairs and just layed around all day because it hurt too bad.

That night I slept great, surprisingly, and woke up with the pain nearly gone.

A final birthday gift was possibly having the cysts pop on their own! Here's hoping. I still have slight pain, so I may be only half way done, but I'm glad the one is gone.

I hope this fight with my body will end soon. Life is too good to spend it fighting a body that refuses to quit falling apart. haha

SpringHill days are done

So I have worked at the Marriott SpringHill Suites since about October of 2009. I have really enjoyed it and have worked pretty crazy hours and met some pretty crazy friends. It really is a good place to work.

Unfortunately, recently things went downhill between the Hotel and myself, and for reasons I wont post online I felt that it was time for me to end my employment with the Suites.

I hate leaving a job with feelings hurt and awkward emotions, but it was pretty unavoidable this time. ( In order to get the gist-- I felt that certain things were handled dishonestly and I felt hugely disrespected due to some management decisions.) After going and talking to management, I only left feeling more like the work I have put in has been brushed aside too easily and I was kind of a "budget buster" as an employee ever since opening with the hotel. If they dont value me, I dont value them kind of feeling.
 
I still consider everyone at the hotel a friend, but there comes a time when you know a certain phase of your life is done, and that time is now for me and that job.

I feel both sad and thrilled about being done there.

Even when I like a job, I think the last day there is a great "clean slate" feeling. My last day at the Hotel is this Saturday.

More importantly, though, I turn 24 tomorrow!!!
That means it's been about 22 years since this day

Lucas got me one of these last week and I am so excited to start making things!

Hayley's visit

Last week, for a week and half, Lucas' sister, Hayley, came to stay with us. (Is it just me or was that sentence too comma filled? oh well.)

This is Hayley:

She's a mega babe. And she's really really cool.

So we were really excited for Hayley to come stay with us because we never get to see her, and we like having some family here in Rexburg. (My sister Emily lives here, but we only see her when she needs to do laundry. She's too busy being single and loving her roommates to bother with boring nights with a married couple. I can't really blame her) But anyway, Hayley flew in one weekend.

She said she felt like the girl from the movies who goes to like a Nebraska farm town from NYC. She was in all black, and looked very "city" when she flew into Idaho Falls airport.

Lucas and I are both extremely busy with school this semester, so poor Hayley spent most of her time here watching seasons of Arrested Development and other shows. She seemed to enjoy it. She has been overworking herself in Colorado so she said she enjoyed the time to just do nothing, sleep in, take naps, watch shows, and just blob out. I suppose I too enjoy those times. (However, I can't help but feel like she was just being nice and was probably suffering from intense cabin fever)


In order to do something exciting we went to Idaho Falls and ate and then went to furniture row, which for some reason got both of us girls excited. One day Lucas and Hayley rented a video game and played that together when I went to work.


Even though we didn't do anything overly exciting, we loved having her here. It's so great to have people you love around. We can get pretty lonely up here in the burg.

After like 10 days or so she got to fly back to Denver where her new boyfriend and puppy were waiting for her. She got a TINY new puppy and spent a lot of time away from him to come see us. I felt bad. I dont like tie away from my puppies. haha. Here is her cute little "Chewbacca"  aka "Chewy"

So, if you ever want to come visit us we will love it and you will be bored to tears.

Do it!

I KNEEd sleep

A couple months ago my knee started really hurting whenever I would bend down. It became so painful that I would have to use my hand to take my weight whenever I would squat down to pick something up. Then it began happening in my other knee. It got really bad, and then it began hurting so badly, as if all the tendons in my knee were unified in their decision to cramp up that I was losing sleep. I woke up every few hours and had to painfully stretch out my legs and then go back to bed. Stairs hurt. Running hurt. Standing hurt. Sleeping was scary.

I set up an appointment with a chiropractor and he said my Tibia was twisted and it looked like it may have happened because my pelvis was out of place. He adjusted me and the rest of the day I was pretty sore but the sharp pain was better in my left knee.

That night I was pain free in one leg, but my right knee still hurt. SO a few days later I went back to the chiropractor and he re-readjusted me and did a more thorough full body alignment. It was amazing. The next few days went by with little to no knee pain and I was sure I was healed! I was so happy!

However, the pain is coming back. A few nights ago I woke up from a particularly happy dream with pain back in my left knee.

Now its coming back in my right.

I never injured my knees or anything. I have never had anything wrong with them, and haven't changed anything I do, except I do walk around campus more, but nothing drastic.


Lucas says my warranty ran out so my body is giving up. It seems every few days somethign weird happens. One day me elbow like stopped working and I couldn't straighten my arm. The other day I practically fainted in the bathroom when I fell on the floor in a weird full body overheat, I keep getting headaches, and it seems that a new pain appears each day just teasing me for having to get the crappy school insurance. Oh well, even if my warranty ran out, Lucas is stuck with me!

I kind of feel like Mrs. Potato Head and if someone whacked me really hard in the back my arms legs and face might just fall right off.


Has this even happened to anyone else? Did you ever just start falling apart for no reason?

Lets Make a Deal

Remember my vacation back in December?

Well, I only briefly mentioned that I was going to be in the studio audience of the TV show, Let's Make a Deal with Wayne Brady

Well, as it turns out you aren't allowed to say anything about the show after you've been in the audience. Especially not if you were a contestant who was so overstimulated and in shock about being called up that you couldn't function. If you were a contestant who geeked out big time and just squeeled and giggled and yelled "THE BOX" over and over, you ESPECIALLY were not allowed to say anything to anyone until it aired.

Check it out:
Look for a giggly nurse and her handsome doctor

You can see Lucas and I pretty much the whole time in the background. It was really really fun, and for the best part of the show check out minute 21:00.

Cracks me up. But at least to won a prize!

I won a spa day in LA. There's like a Limo ride, a makeover, a health consultation, massage and all that kind of girly stuff.
Lucas has been pretty unexcited about it, because we really wanted to get an ipad out of being called up. But beggers cant be choosers!
We will see what happens, so even if we can't get the cash value (they have 90 days after the airdate to get us our prizes) I am excited to have a spa day. It was worth like 3 grand, and this would be the only time in my life I would be willing to spend that kind of money on myself like that. I will not hate it if it happens.


So If you are going to LA, get a free ticket and go try to be on Let's Make a Deal! It was super fun and maybe you'll get to see yourself geek out, too!

Mother's Day

I was kinda nervous for Mother's Day this year.
I was worried that nobody would remember that I am a Mother.
I worried that when they talk in church about Moms I would not relate.
I was sad that I am unable to hold my baby tighter because I'm so glad to be her mom.

Luckily, I have actually had a really good day. Sure, I cried a little. But, I would have cried either way. My gratitude for her reaches beyond the grave. I love being a mother to her as an angel as I would have if she were here.My daughter is the best. Am I a proud Mom? Very.

So I decided that if people don't remember that I'm going through stuff today, that would be okay. I can't expect everyone to remember her how I would, that would be silly.But as usual, the goodness of others is surprising.

You see, I actually thought Mother's Day was yesterday. I've always known that Mother's Day is on a Sunday, but for some reason I kept trying to tell guests at the Hotel to have a great Mother's Day. I couldn't get a hold of my mom all Saturday and went to bed feeling like the worst daughter ever for not reaching her. It was weird.

While I was at work I got a surprise phone call from my sister-in-law MaShay. Remember Hank? Well now he look like this:

He's adorable. So is his dear mother. Well, his mother, MaShay called me Saturday afternoon and talked to me about mother's day and about Molly. She said she had been thinking about me all day, and she cried when telling her brother Molly's story. I was beyond touched. She then teared up as she told me she hoped I could have a happy Mother's Day and know that I am a Mom. I cried it was so sweet. I love you MaShay!

Well, I woke up this morning to the sound of a wisk whirling around a bowl and I knew that Lucas was making me breakfast. He's the best. He has to be at church all day on Sundays, so he let me sleep as long as he could and woke me up around 8. I was surprised to find a beautiful rose on the counter. Because he knows my love for sweets, he made pancakes with chocolate covered strawberries. This was topped with whipped cream. I was in heaven. This boy knows me! He told me he loved me and gave me all the love and attention I need. I felt great.

Then he said, "I made you something." I was really surprised and touched. He ran out of the kitchen and came back holding Molly's memory book. My throat got a lump in it and I knew that he had given me a gift by giving Molly a gift.

See, I have been trying to make Molly's memory book since July. Its really emotionally tolling for me, and I am working REALLY slowly. I have yet to do all Molly's pictures because I end up crying. I had hoped that Lucas would make a page about him and Molly. A father/daughter thing. It's been a long time and he had not done it so I figured it was going to make him sad.

But this morning he flipped open her book and there was a beautifully scrap-booked page.




The poem in the middle says:

Molly,
I will never forget the first time I saw you,
I will never forget the first time I held you,
I will never forget those few hours
we had together as a family

I will always love you.
I will always be better because of you.
I will see you again.


My eyes watered up as I read it. I was so happy he did this for me and for Molly. It meant the world to me and made me SO happy! I don't know how he does it, but he seems to become more and more perfect with every passing day.

Then, thanks to facebook, all the people who thought about how today would be for me left me nice comments letting me know they were thinking about me and wished me a happy Mother's Day. I am constantly impressed with how loving other people can be. Thank you for making my day less difficult!


Later at work, I called my mom to wish HER a happy Mother's Day. We laughed for 30 minutes straight as we talked about awkward moments.

This is my cool Mom!


We laughed at this...

Today in church (we go to a student ward, so nobody there is a Mother but me) the talks were all about Motherhood and the Bishop let us know there was going to be a special musical number. A "surprise" he called it. Well, after two speakers all the boys in the congregation get up with their hymn books.

The girls all start giggling, excited that the boys are going to sing us a special song. Usually on Mother's day it's something like "Love at Home" or a song about Mom's.

The Bishop got up and said, "I know none of you are mothers yet, but the men jumped at the opportunity to sing a song for you"

They then sing the song "Ye Elders of Israel". Its basically a song that empowers men to be Christ-like and support others. Its a song for Men.

At first the girls are taken by the fact that the boys are singing and looking for cute ones. I laughed when they stop giggling and just kind of stare as they realize the men are singing about themselves. I know that these men are important, but to sing about it as a Mother's Day musical number? I am still laughing about it. Lucas said he was embarrassed at the song choice. It had nothing to do with Moms.

As they sang (about themselves) for the girls(for dates?haha) we all sat awkwardly and then it was really weird as they sat back down. Hopefully one of those boys gets a date out of it.

The closing song was about a half an hour later. Unfortunately for the women in the room, it was a song that was meant for a men's choir and none of the girls could sing it. We attempted it, but the room was filled with the sound of men singing next to girls squeeking out notes that are out of their range. The more I think about it the more I giggle.

So as I told my mom this story she laughed really hard, the kind of laugh that makes you glad it was after something you said.

We then laughed as my Mom tells me her awkward church story:

She plays the piano really well. When she was in college, she was playing some classical music that she knew really well on the piano in the church. Her Bishop heard her and asked if she would be willing to play a musical number that Sunday.

Now, my mom has really bad nerves when it comes to performing musically. She hesitated but agreed to play.

She practiced a churchy song from the hymn book all week, and on Sunday she got up to play when it was her turn.

She stood behind the piano and looked out over the congregation and was overcome with nerves. She lost all courage to try and play the song she had been learning all week and instead only had courage to play a piece she knew she had memorized.

It was Solfeggietto by C.P.E. Bach.
For the whole mental image, here is the song


Not exactly sacrament meeting piano music. But it was the only thing she knew she would ruin, so off she went.

Anyway, she got up and it was silent. She said everybody felt really weird and then this girl goes "Was the C.P.E. Bach?" My mom just says, "Yeah."

Well, she was never asked to play another church hymn on the piano in that ward. haha

HAHA! That's my mother!



Hope your Mother's Day was fantastic!

A Picture Story: The Oven and The Dummy

Once Upon a time, there was a happy and very used oven.


Oven and his best friend, Amber, loved to make cookies. It was one of their favorite things to do, so they made cookies a few times a week.



One day, Amber was absentmindedly wandering around the kitchen because she was craving something sweet. She didn't have the ingredients to make cookies, so she just hung around oven. Amber started talking to her husband, Lucas, and grabbed onto Oven's handle. Oven was happy.

Suddenly, without warning, Amber decided to swing from Oven's door and try and put her toes up on the nearby counter.


Amber is a dummy. She put too much faith in the strength of oven's door.

Alas, The door swung open and crashed to the floor. Amber crash landed on top of the door with a painful thud!!




Oh, yes, Amber is a dummy.


Oven was broken. His hinges were bent, and even though Amber and Lucas tried as hard as they could, they could not put him back together again.

Lucas was forced to remove Oven's door. He was useless to them now.


Oven sat sadly with no door for weeks, just dreaming of cookies.



Amber sat sadly with no cookies for weeks, just dreaming of cookies.

Lucas sad sadly listening to amber miss cookies for weeks, and he too dreamed of cookies.


One blessed day, a knock came at the door.

It was a package for Oven! New Hinges had arrived!




BEST DAY EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Lucas put oven back together, he looked as good as new. The three of them were so happy to be back together, they baked some cookies to celebrate.

Tick Busters.

I can't believe how fast time is flying, lately! Since I wrote last I had a very busy end to semester and finished my first semester back in school with a 4.0! I was VERY excited! I have always been good at school when I try, but never put that much effort into it before. It is refreshing to feel good about the way you spend your time.

So if you feel like my blog is being neglected and therefore you are unable to stalk us, blame college.

We also took a trip to Utah and Colorado for the ten or so day break between semesters. It was WONDERFUL to see family. We had a lot of fun, as we always do. Lucas is so relaxed around family. There is NO way that we are not going to end up in Colorado. Colorado/family=happy Lucas=happy Amber. Win Win! (Not that I'm not equally excited to see my family as he is, but he is much happier there compared to here because of the lack of stress and responsibility when we go home. haha.

Speaking of responsibility, Lucas got a new calling at church. He is in the bishopric of a single student ward on the BYU-I campus. He LOVES it. When he first got the calling he was kinda in a blur, just overwhelmed and feeling like he didn't now anything. I thought it was cute. Then he started and he felt even MORE overwhelmed and I thought it was cute. But now he is getting the hang of it, he is gone ALL day on Sundays (like 9 am to 11 pm yesterday) and then all day Tuesday, with more here and there as he is needed.

It seems like a lot to take on, but I have seen him absolutely fall in love with the calling over the last month. He is serving with all he has, and I think the Lord is helping him find time to do all he needs to around the calling. Its really great, and he comes home all dressed up and tired. There never has been a more proud wife.

We also started a new semester, I am taking all Science classes. Anatomy and Physiology (the second half) ..online, Chemistry, Foundations of Science and Book of Mormon. Its an intense amount of work, but so far I love it like I did last semester. I'm still having a love affair with education.


HOWEVER, just because I love learning, does not mean I love everything about it. I am not usually the person to rattle the system when I dont like something, but I did. I wrote my first harsh letter to the Business department at the school. It was long and pointed. It called people out for behavior and regulations that were uncalled for. It was signed "Lucas Taylor" hahaha. (They called him in to have a meeting with him and apologized...CHECK)


Finally, we gave Moose a hair cut, again.

We could have paid like 45 dollars to have him groomed but I did what is cheaper and trashier and cut his fur myself with a small pair of scissors. It took FOREVER. Our bathroom was covered in fur and moose ended up looking hilariously different, with random long chunks, a bleeding tongue and a few bald spots.


Seriously, there are a lot of bald spots. This is just one side.




Yes, I cut his tongue. I was holding his mouth and trying to trim the long fur around his nose and just as I cut he stuck his tongue out to taste the scissors. He jumped back but didn't make a sound. I wasnt sure If I hurt him because he just started licking his legs. I looked down and there was blood all over his leg. I got so scared that I sliced his tongue in half or something and rammed his mouth open and he was bleeding, but the cut on his tongue was so small I couldn't find it. He stopped bleeding eventually and I gave him a bone and some extra hugs and love to say "Sorry I'm a sucky barber".

Finally, at the end of the hair cut I had to torture him a little more and had to give him a bath. It was really sad. He avoided me like the plaque for a couple hours. Lucas stayed away during the whole ordeal and so Moose still loved him with caution.

The next day, Moose was acting really weird. He was extremely lethargic and didn't seem interested in food, his bones, his treats, outside, or us. Once I picked him up and he was burning up. I had never felt him so warm. He's never been so sick. He just layed around bored. We were sure he had the stomach flu. It was so sad. Lucas got so worried about him that he prayed that we would be able to find out what was wrong with him.

The next day Lucas was holding him and cuddling him when he goes, "I found the problem! Moose has a tick!"


SICK! I ran over to see it. It was true. There was no denying that Moose had gained the affections of a little brown tick. I was so mad at that stupid bug. Nobody sucks my dog's blood! NOBODY! We paid him back by covering him in peanut butter. When he refused to break up with Moose we tried to burn him out. Nothing. Tough little guy. Finally, I had to hold Moose down and talk lovingly to him as Lucas grabbed the tweezers. When Moose seemed distracted enough by my tricky love overload, Lucas YANKED that little tick out. Moose Yelped and jumped up, crying. It was SO SAD. His leg was bleeding where the tick pulled off some skin. Lucky we got the whole thing. Stupid guy

However bad I felt, it was worth it. We had our healthy dog back within the hour. Don't mess with us, Ticks. We will find you and make you pay for hurting our puppy!