Some more days

Vacations are exhausting! The past two nights I have wanted to blog but we have gotten home so exhausted that we just go right to bed! (Plus your lack of comments on my previous blogs tells me that people don't like reading about other people's vacations, which makes me less excited to write about it. I blame you! Okay, not really.)

So Thursday was the long- awaited LETS MAKE A DEAL day! We slept as late as we could and got up and got ready, which took me forever because I tried a little harder, just in case we got on TV, haha.

We never decided on a costume to wear, so we ended up having to find a store here that sells costumes year-round and ended up at Party City. There isn't much of a selection there, and there are very few costumes for women that aren't inappropriate, so we ended up with Lucas being a Dr, and I was a surgeon. Not very creative but we didn't have much time to work on it.


We drove into LA (I would never live here) and thanks to our GPS, who we have named Gerdie P. Stansonminson, we arrived early to the show and saw a line of people in costumes, parked the car and went to stand in line. We stood between a guy who came by himself dressed as Madea, and a couple of frat guys also dressed as doctors (Kinda makes us look even less original, but maybe it just made us look like we came together?)

We filled out tons of papers promising that we would not tell anyone anything about the outcome of the show until after it airs, and that we wouldn't record the show on our phones or anything, blah blah blah.

We got a name tag and a guest number, met the producers and waited and waited and waited. After a long time of waiting and trying to ignore the people who came dressed showing off all their obviously not private to them parts, we were walked into the studio.

It was really fun and interesting! The studio was smaller than it looks on TV but still felt awesome. They seated all of us and Lucas and I got a GREAT seat and then we waited for the show to start.

It was basically exactly like you see on TV just more exhausting. We sat really close to Wayne Brady and all the people he would call up to make deals with. Sometimes they stood right in front of us, but sometimes we could probably be seen on camera! We wont know till the show airs around May! We were really surprised by how small Wayne Brady is, he is really skinny and short, but he is just as witty and quick on his feet as you would hope! He is SHARP! Some of the audience members would freak out and act REALLY weird whenever he was around, but for the most part it wasn't like " OH MY..HOLY COW..THATS HIM! HE'S FAMOUS!", he acted chill and so it was pretty chill around him.

We cheered and yelled and got really excited and by the end of the taping our throats hurt and we were exhausted!!! It was a fantastic experience but we were SO tired when we finally left.


We drove from LA through TONS of traffic to get dinner with my friend Christen in Ontario, but when we got there it ended up that she wasn't going to be able to make it, which was sad. We ate at P.F. Changs (We got lettuce wraps, of course) and then we drove back to the hotel, and didn't get there until about 11:30 because the traffic here is RIDICULOUS!

We got back and went right to bed!

The next day was our Universal Studios day :)

The park was pretty much empty, so we got in and went on all the rides really quickly, never waiting more than ten minutes. This is the best week ever to go to Disney and Universal! Bet you wish you would have come with us!

Universal Studios is obsessed with 3D and putting little blips it everywhere, which Lucas loved but I got sick of. I miss the old fashioned robots and stuff! We rode rides and took pictures and took the tour, and hung out.

We were kinda quiet all day. We talked but not as much as normal. We were tired, and feeling kinda poor on top of it. So when we were walking around the shops and stuff looking for something to buy as a souvenir we got a little grumpy. We didn't talk and I was easily annoyed at a lot of stuff around me (unfortunately, this included Lucas.) We had a long talk where we both got a little emotional and we learned more about ourselves, and about each other, right in the middle of the "strip" of Universal Studios.

We talked a lot about our lives and where we were and what we wanted. We talked about what got us where we are, and what blessings we have. As we talked we watched stroller after stroller after stroller go by, and I began to cry. You never know when it will hit you. I miss Molly. We hugged and I cried because we aren't supposed to be on vacation, hiding from our empty life. We are supposed to be at home, strapped for cash and bouncing our 4 1/2 month old little girl. We aren't supposed to be searching for things to do to get our minds off a loss this huge. We aren't supposed to be getting in stupid arguments about a vacation we shouldn't be able to go on. For just a second I cried there. In the middle of the street. I looked at all the babies around me and wished so badly one of them was her. I wanted her there so badly. Thinking about how long we will have to wait until we will hold our own child in our arms again is so extremely painful. Then the thought of how long it will be until we may be ready to have another is terrifying. I'm scared of being pregnant. I'm terrified that when I am pregnant I will never allow myself to be excited about it because I will never feel like we will get the joy of bringing our baby home. While we stood there I allowed myself just a moment of self pity. I allowed myself a minute of wondering why all my future pregnancies will be less exciting, why I have to feel this unbearable emptiness for the rest of my life. Why MY family has to be one of the families with a hole in it.

But then we hugged and I stopped thinking that way. I remembered all the blessings that have come due to the few hours Molly was here. I thought about what a blessing it is to have a child who already has left this earth, and is with Jesus. A daughter who has already made it where everyone else strives to go, back to our Heavenly Father. We have something to fight for. We have a goal, because we are parents, and we have to remember what a blessing she is. She is not a burden, we are not being punished. We have been given a challenge that will affect our life and its up to us to make it something that makes us stronger. Its up to us to make her short life one to inspire the lives of the rest of our children and ourselves.

So I stopped crying, and we went to a candy store and indulged a little (17 dollars worth of candy to boost our spirits)

We to Subway on the way back to the hotel, ate our dinner, and cuddled while watching TV and then went to bed.


Today we woke up late, feeling refreshed. We were ready for another day in Southern California!

We decided that today would be our Sea World day. I have never been, when my family came when I was younger to Cali, Sea World was closed. :( Not today!

I don't know if I have ever mentioned it, but I LOVE sea animals. I scream like a little girl when I see them. I dream about riding whales, I giggle and laugh and feel so much happiness when I see sea turtles. I cried when I saw a whale breach on our honeymoon. But, for some reason, I hadn't realized that I would feel the same excitement when I see the animals at Sea World.

First thing we went to the Whale tank, but couldn't see any, then we went over to the dolphins. I lived in Hawaii for two years and never saw a dolphin! So this was my first time! They are SO CUTE!

One of them swam up to me against the glass and just bounced there, saying hi. We watched the dolphins for a while, then went over to a ledge and waited and got to touch a few! It was amazing! One guy came up and rested his head on a rock by me and Lucas and closed his eyes and let us feel his forehead for a while. It was awesome. I was really excited!

Then we went on a ride down the "rapids" and got all wet, and then off to the Shamu show! When we got there we pretty much got to pick whatever seat we wanted because we were one of the first into the stadium. Lucas saved us a seat and I ran down to the glass to get a closer look at the whales. One whale was just floating there, she was HUGE and BEAUTIFUL! I got so excited as I went up close that I started giggling and then surprised even myself as my eyes watered up and I CRIED! WHAT?!

Turns out I love whales even more than I thought!

I went back and sat with Lucas and was in heaven the whole show, and have decided I need to now consider being a trainer! That would be AMAZING!

We went to the dolphin show, pet some other sea creatures, saw the sharks, and then headed back to the hotel.

Now we are watching Indiana Jones and eating pizza, and just loving that we are on vacation. Just tomorrow and Monday morning left!