Saturday, December 4, 2010

Decision Made.

Bubble Letter Maker

Thanks everyone for your comments and thoughts on my decision for my major. I have decided on nursing for a few reasons.

A few of you mentioned this in the comments, but I could go into social work but I feel like I would hear so many sad and horrible stories and really might not be able, BECAUSE of my job, to do anything because of the red tape everywhere. I can make more of a difference as a citizen who is trying to help. It makes more sense for me and our family to adopt kids of our own and do our best to give them the best home possible.

I also will be volunteering to help in the foster system in some way. I can make a difference, without making it a full time job where I hear all the sad stories and end up not being able to have the time or clearance to do as much about it as I would like.

Nursing will also allow me to work just a couple days a week and still be a stay home mom the rest of the time. If I was in social work, I know I would be completely consumed in the cases I have and would take them home with me and would never feel okay taking a day off. I would feel guilty taking any time NOT trying to help. It would be all consuming.

Since my ultimate goal is to raise a happy family, and to give the kids we have and adopt the home they deserve...I need to be THERE and I need to be HAPPY.

So I choose nursing.

Now fingers crossed that I get into the program!

How was your Thanksgiving?!

Ours was fantastic.

The people at the hotel where we work were amazing and let us take an early Thanksgiving trip to Colorado ( We were scheduled to work Thanksgiving)
So we drove to Colorado to see our families.

I am like a child. I fall asleep after about 20 minutes on the road, and then wake up and get hyper, then I zonk out again for hours. This happens the whole time.

Moose was fantastic in the car! Some dogs are horrible to travel with, but Moose did so well! He is such a cuddler and such a good dog we didn't really stress about having him in the car that long. Just stopped so he could do his thing every now and then. No accidents!

My favorite part of the drive was driving through Denver and then on to Parker and Littleton to see our families. It is hilarious to observe Lucas. He is usually a little bit of a grump after driving that long, and then its like he smells the Colorado air and his mood improves instantly. He gets smiley and happy and even sits up straighter. He suddenly is very complimentary of me and everything around us. That man loves Colorado. And this is one of the millions of reasons why I love him.

Once in Colorado our time is split between our two families.

One of the first things we did, with both of our families, was go see Molly's new headstone. Lucas and I went first. I was SO nervous as we drove into the cemetery. I was sweating and my heart was beating hard. It was a beautiful day, and we had a bouquet of flowers for her. We got there and walked to where our little girl is resting. It was peaceful, as we always feel around her.

I hated the ground that separated us from her. I took off my shoes and stood on the grass above her. I wanted to dig my fingers into the grass and dirt and find my daughter. I cried and sat down on the ground and we just sat there in silence and tears.

Then Lucas and I split Molly's flowers in half, and gave half to Scarlett, the daughter of another baby loss mom who we have been in contact with. We then gave some flowers to the son of a lady who goes to church with my parents. Then we went back to Molly.

Our families came and we all stood around Mollys headstone and felt her. We missed her. We laughed. Our families are amazing. It was great to be there. I needed that.

On Monday, we ate a beautiful and delicious Thanksgiving dinner a few days early with my parents. They pulled out my great Grandma's china and we ate the fanciest dinner ever to be eaten in that house. It was beautiful, and full of good food and love. My parents have become quite the softies, and they just sit back and look at their grown kids, their grandson, and just smile and smile and want to talk about gratitude and family. Its the best. I love family. I wished all of my siblings and their spouses could have made it, but we have to share now!

We also went to see Harry Potter with Lucas' family and we loved it, again. We are Harry Potter nerds. Its the best. We cant go more than a few weeks without craving a little magic.

The day we were supposed to leave, Idaho was hit with a blizzard. We drove to Wyoming then turned around because we didn't want to risk it. Turns out it was a good idea because roads were CRAZY for all the Thanksgiving travelers. We went back home to wait out the storm, which took two days. It would have been AWESOME to get more time with our families, but instead it was just awesome (without capitals) because Lucas and I both got sick. With different sicknesses. It was weird, but we would rather be sick in Colorado with our mommies than in our apartment without them!

We eventually made it home safely, and are back in the swing of things for a week and a half, and then come this Monday we leave for California!

I can't even express how much we need this vacation.

This year has chewed us up and spit us out. We are exhausted, we feel pulled in a million directions, and we never see eachother. But we are thankful for the help we have recieved, and that we started a vacation jar about a year ago, and now we can finally go get some time for US.

We are going to be silly. We are going to let go. We are going to be happy.

And you know what? We have reasons to be happy. And Molly is the top of that list.


Katie said...

That's wonderful! I want to be a nurse too!!!

Eric & Crystal Marshall said...

Amber! So excited that you guys are taking a break from the norm and getting out to do something fun!! :) Can't wait to hear about it and see pictures!