Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Steps to a family

Lucas got a job!
He starts tomorrow and so do I. 
We are soooo excited. 
Things are going to start moving. 
He also starts Real Estate School in March. He will get his license in May.
Luckily, his job is flexible and pays well so we will be financially taken care of while he gets used to real estate and starts making that a priority.
My job is a way for me to help our family until the day that I get my dream job-
to be a mom.
We could wait a very long time. I hope not, but its possible. 
However, its nice to see any blessing that makes having a family seem closer to a reality.

With every blessing that comes our way I find myself thinking,
That's one step closer to adoption. One day we'll have a family.
One day this might actually happen for us.  

Waiting is hard, but it's nice to remember that we wait because it wont happen until it's right. 
So while we wait we are doing all we can to make sure we are ready.
Yesterday Lucas and I were driving in the car and he was quiet. 
I asked him if he was alright and he said,
"I'm just ready to be a dad."
I love knowing that we both think about our future family so often. 
We are mentally preparing all the time. Sometimes we play the "what if" game and end up laughing and laughing at how much fun it will be to be parents.   
Lucas just poked his head out of the bathroom and leaned over so he could see me. 
In a hopeful and excited voice he said,
"Do we have a baby yet?"
"Not yet."
Then he kept getting ready.
That's kinda how this waiting thing goes. We just stay ready.

Monday, February 27, 2012

A Poem

I got sent this poem in a comment, and just read it before going to bed.
It is beautiful, and thought I should share it.
Tears filled my eyes as I read it. Thank you for thinking of us and taking a few minutes to send it to me. I love it.

"What Makes a Mother"
I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother
And I know I heard him say.
A Mother has a baby
This we know is true.

But God, can you be a Mother
When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can, He replied
With confidence in His voice
I give many women babies
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime
And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay.

I just don't understand this, God
I want my baby here
He took a breath and cleared His throat
And then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say:
"We go to earth to learn our lessons
Of love and life and fear.

My Mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom
Who had so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quickly
My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear.
"Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here."

So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are okay
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you with Me
Until your lesson is through.
And on the day that you come home
They'll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start.
~Author Unknown

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Guilty Pleasure

I love when I go to a doctor's office or any business and they give me a clipboard with a big packet of paperwork to fill out.
I am not being sarcastic at all. 
I actually get disappointed when they don't make me fill stuff out.
 As a kid, I would sometimes take a blank sheet of paper and create my own paperwork with organized little boxes begging to be filled in with dates and information. Then I would use a different colored pen and fill it in as though it was a very official document.

 So, imagine my delight when Liz tagged me to do a survey. I like this girl more and more every day.


1. Post these rules
2. Post 11 random things about yourself
3. Answer the questions provided by the one who tagged you
4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag
5. Tag 11 people


1. I have really small teeth. My old orthodontist said they are child sized.
2. Every time I see a whale I cry.
3. I am fascinated with people's dreams, almost always remember mine, and all sleep-talking stories are hilarious to me.
4. I have always wanted to write a novel, and plan to start soon.
5. I have been in love four times.
6. I talk in weird voices and fake accents with Lucas a lot because it makes him laugh.
7. I have been skydiving five times.
8. I don't measure when I bake or cook.
9. I have a really sensitive gag-reflex
10. I have a fear of ostriches, though its been a long time and I may be over it. I'm kinda scared to test it out.
11. I am easily charmed by funny people, unless they use humor to cover rudeness. Then I am easily turned off.

1. What’s a quirky habit of yours? Maybe this is weird, but touching Lucas' butt. This habit has almost caused some awkward situations with many people. Like the other day, I scooted past my little brother and almost slid past him with my hand on his rear. I caught myself at the last second and just yelled, "Butt Punch!" and kinda punched it. Close one.
2. What was the last song you listened to? I cannot honestly answer this because my memory is horrible and all day I have had Mr Curiosity in my head. The last one I remember listening to was a Green Day song on the radio.
3. If you had a weekend off to go wherever you wanted, where would you go?(Just the weekend!) I would go to Utah to meet my nephew, Tanner.
4. Describe your ideal self in seven words. Christlike, kind, thoughtful, generous, author, wife, mother.
5. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? So many things. An author, a firefighter, a teacher. Always a mom.
6. Describe an awkward moment you experienced in college: Oh dear. Once I was taking a shower and in our apartment the light switches were outside the bathroom door. My roommates were turning the lights off and laughing away. They kept doing it and we were all laughing about it. I said, "Do it one more time and you'll get it!" (or something like that) and when the lights went out again I jumped outside the shower and whipped the door open. Until that moment, I had not ever considered the fact that anyone but one or two roommates would be there. However, I stood there frozen, covered in soap and butt naked in front of a bunch of LDS guys I did not know, my roommates, and a few guys I kinda knew. One of the guys later saw me and said, "Uh...lets not make this weird." I had forgotten about it, but when he brought it up I felt so weird that he had not.
7. One of your greatest accomplishments in life so far: Finding happiness and earning a stronger marriage through the loss of Molly and Kellen.
8. If you could have dinner with one person, dead or alive, who would you pick and why? I cannot pick just one. (Sorry Liz!) I would absolutely, without a doubt, choose my children. If only, if only.
9. What is one event that fundamentally changed you forever? Choosing to leave Hawaii, where I loved Kelsey (the girl I nannied) and my boyfriend at the time in an effort to follow the promptings of the spirit and make myself the best ME possible. It was a choice that broke my heart and set me on a path that has brought immeasurable happiness.
10. If you could have one superhero power, what would it be and why? I would be able to read people's emotions on a deeper level. Not their minds, exactly, but their real emotions. Then I would know how better to help people and who needs what kind of love.
11. You have the chance to spend a month in one major European city. ONLY ONE. Where do you go? I would probably have to say Sicily, Italy. But only because I just saw a picture of it and it was stunning. I would say yes to going anywhere. I love to travel.

11 QUESTIONS FOR THE PEOPLE I’VE TAGGED (and anyone else who wants to participate):
1. Tell about the last thing that made you really laugh.
2. What type of situation makes you feel out-of place? What makes you feel comfortable?
3. What is one thing about yourself you want to improve on?
4. If you had 1 million dollars, but could use none of it on yourself, what would you do with it?
5. Tell about a memory that you remember often, but aren't sure why.
6. What is something you are excited for?

7. What did you eat today?
8. Name someone that makes you proud, and if you want, say why.
9. What is your dream job?
10. Describe the teenage you.
11. What is your go-to food when you are hungry.

*And don't worry, I wont be offended at all if you dont want to do it. *

1. Brandilyn
2. Rachael
3. Emily
4. Nicole
5. Taylor
6. Emily
7. Crystal
8. Kelsi
9. Haley
10. Rachel
11. Julie

Monday, February 20, 2012

Feelin' good in the neighborhood

Since moving to Colorado, I have been applying for jobs like crazy.
I heard back from a few, and got offered a bunch of nanny jobs, but nothing felt right, or it wasn't quite what I was looking for. 

Then one day I got a message from an old friend, Hadley. 
I have not seen or talked to Hadley in a VERY long time. 
She told me that she had a feeling she should let me know about a job opportunity with Courtesy Acura
She was leaving her job because she is having a baby in April, but wasn't sure if I was even looking.
Lucky for me, she decided to listen to the prompting she had to see if I was interested.

I went in to interview the next day with the general manager,
the following day I interviews with the parts and service manager.
Then I nervously waited the weekend to hear if they thought I would be a good fit for the job.

I had a phone interview over the phone this morning for a high paying nanny job.
I almost accepted it a couple weeks ago, but she went into early labor, and had to put off hiring a couple more weeks.
She really liked me and it seemed like a job I would really enjoy.
But, she said she wouldn't need me full time until May, and even then it might only be thirty hours.
I got off the phone knowing I couldn't do it, and worried that if I didnt get the job Hadley told me about that Lucas and I would be hurting pretty bad to find work.

Two hours later, I got a call from Courtesy Acura.
I answered nervously, but they quickly let me know that they wanted to offer me a position with their team! 
I'm still feeling rushes of happiness and relief. 
Also, I feel a strange urge to find Hadley and give her the biggest hug of her life.

I will start in just over a week, I think. 
This is such a huge blessing and Lucas and I are beyond happy.
Learning to do a new job can be a bit intimidating,  but I feel really good about this one.
I will be the new Customer Service Coordinator at Courtesy Acura in Littleton, Colorado.
Come see me and buy a car so they know they made a good choice ;)


Also, the first job Lucas applied to was with Wells Fargo.
He passed the online screening, passed the first phone interview, passed the group interview, and today in an hour he has a personal interview at the branch where he applied. 
Fingers crossed!!!
We are blessed, I tell you.


We went to baby land to visit Molly and Kellen on Sunday. 
The snow wasn't completely melted, but we found them. Lucas used his foot to scrape the snow off Molly's headstone, we put her flower vase up, and left them each a little gift. 
It felt peaceful and wonderful there, as usual. 

There really are angels all around us. 
I'm a blessed lady.


Thursday, February 16, 2012

Some Nights...

...are harder than others.

I am currently sitting in my in-laws bathroom wrapped in a fuzzy blanket with a computer on my lap, just crying. I'm trying desperately to distract my mind from the negative and jealous thoughts that I can't keep from filling it.

I just saw that a friend of mine just found out she is expecting twins.

You  never know when it will hit you, or what will trigger it, but tonight that news stung.
I stared at the words on the screen and her happy exclamation points.
I told Lucas. He got quiet and looked at the ground and said. "" I could tell it was hard for him to hear too.
I'm pretty sure we were thinking the same thing right then..why does it seem so easy for everyone else?
I layed on my back in bed a few minutes later and listened to Lucas as he fell asleep.
I tossed and turned and wished I could get the feeling of intense loneliness to leave. Without meaning to, I imagined the "charging" light from the computer was actually a night light, and just beside that light would be a crib. Inside the crib is a baby. And I would be laying awake now just listening to the sounds of my child as they dreamed.
I wished it would be Molly, then Kellen, then the baby we hope to meet soon through adoption.

I started feeling so sad and then angry and knew sleep would be impossible.

So I came in here to try and occupy myself.

I really want to put on some warm clothes and get in the car. I want to drive to the cemetery and shovel away the snow that is covering my babies. I want to lay on the ground, and maybe then, if I am close to them I'll be able to sleep. Maybe then I'll dream about them, and I'll finally see their eyes.  Then they can remind me they are with me always. Maybe if I layed there with them I would be able to remember that I AM a mother. Maybe waiting wont hurt so bad if I can be near them.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentines Day

Lucas and I secretly want to go crazy and over-celebrate every holiday.
However, because we can't really afford it we have pretty much not celebrated any holiday but Christmas since we have been married. Unless you count saying "Happy ________" as a celebration.

Today, for Valentines Day, we met somewhere in the middle and had a lunch date! I have been really excited about it because a couple weeks ago Lucas came home from work and told me that he wanted to show me a trailer for a movie he wanted to see with me. Usually this is what he does for a manly, explosion filled, war movie. But this time, he showed me the preview for "The Vow"

I was so surprised that he wanted to see it with me because its a total "chick-flick" and he was excited about it so early. He's not big on seeing girly movies in theaters, so I was thrilled when he said, "I thought it would be fun to go see it together for Valentines Day!" Hooray! So today, we decided to save some moneh and go to an early showing, right after lunch.

*Channing T. is one of my celeb crushes, so usually Lucas will jokingly try to cover my eyes when he is on TV, or tell me "You're not allowed to see that movie!" when he is in a preview. This made Lucas' desire to see this movie even better. haha

We left the house excited to go on a date, listened to the same music we did on our first few dates, Mat Kearney, and held hands in the car. I love him.

Then we grabbed food at Which Wich, the same one where we had our first date. We talked about our life, and our sandwiches (haha- romance!).  It was delicious, too, which always makes any date better.

Then we headed to the theater. The movie was very good but also SO SAD.
I was tearing up something fierce, and Lucas was getting angry at the unfairness of it all.
When we were leaving the theater, Lucas took my hand as we walked and said,

"If you forgot who I was, Amber, I would never stop fighting to get you back."

That was the cutest.

You are my best friend, the love of my life, an amazing father, and the most amazing husband.
You and I have a rare kind of love, and there isn't a day I'm not thankful for all that you are. Even one day short of eternity would be not enough time together. You taught me to love and be loved in ways that many don't even believe in. You're a dream come true.
I'll love you forever.

  ~~~~~~ Happy Valentines Day to all, and to all a good night!~~~~~~

Crazy Chicken Foot

 Last night Lucas and I went over to take advantage of free food   eat at my parents house.
Then we stayed and played a couple rounds of "Chicken Foot" with Dominoes.

We played it a couple of nights ago, and it sparked an obsession with me and my mom. We have been craving it ever since that first game.

So after dinner, we played again with Lucas, me, my mom, my sister Emily and my brother Eli. Once everyone was done playing, we put it away and Lucas went to hang out with Eli and play some video games, Emily disappeared, and my mom and I started talking in the kitchen.

Slowly, my mom and I ended up standing at the table staring at the Dominoes box.
We both wanted to play again, but we just put it away and everyone else left because they were over it.
I gradually opened the box and started touching the dominoes.
A: " Chicken Foot is so fun"
M: "Yeah, it really is."
We both stare longingly at the game. (We're sick I tell you!)
A: "Can you play with two people?"
M: "I dont think so."
A: "yeah..its too..."
M (perks up) "We could try! I don't see why-... we could be two people!"
A: "OKAY!"

We both got irrationally excited and dealt out two sets of dominoes to ourselves while laughing like we were so sneaky for figuring out a way to play.

It got really confusing trying to be two people competing against eachother/myself.
We started referring to all the hands as "This guy" and "That guy".
We kept forgetting whose turn it was and would just sit there then quietly mom-scream "OH! It's This guys turn!" and point at our own pile.

We decided to pick one pile to be ourselves and the other to be "Lucas" and "Dad".
It helped.
And because my mom and I are super dorky, we started actually trying to play, without meaning to, as if we were covering for our spouse and tried to play how they would- like it was the right thing to do.
We were feeling so silly and my mom was like slap-happy laughing at everything.
Soon my sister walked downstairs and overheard the two of us in the kitchen, by ourselves, playing and saying "Well Lucas played that, so it's Dad's turn." and "Lucas! That was a mean play!"

Emily laughed pretty hard when she realized it was just the two of us playing as two people each so we could keep playing a game nobody else wanted to play. And we were loving it.

Then she goes, "Fine. I'll play"
Now we had three people, and that is enough to play!

So naturally, Emily deals herself out two stacks of dominoes, one for her, and one is "Logan."
"Lucas" and "Dad" kept playing.

The six three of us sounded like a bunch of crazies and Lucas comes upstairs and commented on our psychotic behavior and laughed at us.
I'm pretty sure he wanted to have us checked out when he heard that Emily won with "Logan", so she switched and said her other, losing, pile was Logans. THEN, she got guilty about stealing a win from her boyfriend, and decided to be honest and let him have the win.
What a good crazy girlfriend she is.

Finally, Lucas decided to play, so he sat down and decided to take over for Logan. "Logan" won, and Lucas was a bit sad that "Lucas" did worse than he did.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Happy Sunday


Church today was so uplifting and made me so happy.
The speakers were very powerful and the spirit was strong.
In Sunday School and Relief Society the lessons were about basic gospel principles and  of course, Jesus Christ. I love when lessons are about Christ because I always end up crying 
and remembering how thankful I am for Him and that I belong to His church.

When I was young and learning about Jesus Christ, He seemed a bit unreal.
He was, what felt like, a lot of nice teachings and ideas that came from a world much different than the one I actually lived in.
I believed he had really lived and really taught the principles I was hearing. 
I believed that He had really died for us, 
but I looked at paintings of His life and it seemed like another world.
Like there was real life, and then there was church life.

One of the most beautiful thing about trials, though, is that you start to ask questions.
You ask questions that make you search for answers.
I know I did, and as I asked I learned. 
And most importantly, I realized what I thought I already knew about Jesus Christ.

I learned about the power of His atonement,
I felt peace through His teachings,
I have found answers through the scriptures written by His prophets, both past and present.

Today was one of those days when He felt close.
I was reminded that Jesus Christ really loves me.
His father, and my Heavenly Father, loves me.  
They don't just love me as a general requirement as being on the earth. 
They love me as Amber.
They love my children, and my husband.
They KNOW me, and my life, and they care about me.
They are people, with bodies of flesh and bone.
They literally  hear my prayers. 

It is through Their love that one day we will all be resurrected, just as Christ was.
Everyone who has ever lived will walk and talk and live again in resurrected bodies.
Because they loved us so much, I will get to hold my babies again.
Church and spiritual feelings and promptings are not just nice thoughts.
Wanting to be with my kids again is not an empty hope.
It's not "I sure hope so"
Its not, "I think somehow my kids are out there."
One day my family will be whole, and I wont teach my kids about Christ through pictures,
because they will already know him. We will literally be able to walk with Him and learn from Him.
We have an eternity together. 

And that is a message that brings joy.
If you have loved anyone, ever, there is joy to be found in that knowledge.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Skills and experience

Turns out I have tons and tons of experience in the job of Job Hunter. However, it seems it's not exactly one of my SKILLS, otherwise, I am pretty sure I would stop having more experience build up.

Back in the burg I completely bombed an interview.
Granted, this was just four weeks after we lost Kellen, but still- I did really bad.

The girl interviewing said things like, "We are looking for someone who is really happy!"
Naturally, my response was "OOOHH HAHHHAHA " (Giant fake grin)
Nothing was funny. My laugh at nothing was too loud for the tiny hallway office, and it ended much to abruptly and brought a deafening silence.

I could almost smell the annoying all over myself.

She gave me a half smile and dismissed my obnoxious fake laugh.
Then she said, "You will have to work every third Sunday, is that something you are willing to do?"
And, seeing no point in lying, I said, "Obviously, I don't want to do that. But I need a job."

I've never been more charming, I swear.
I think she wanted to be my best friend. I could tell because she said, "....mmm.   Yeah. We are going to take a look at some other resumes and then, uh, we'll call you. Probably by Friday." She pat her hand on a huge stack of 2 other resumes and gave me a smile as she stood up and motioned me out the door with her elbow.

I walked to my car and literally laughed out loud at myself. I've never done so poorly or been so unable to be human at a job interview. I drove immediately to Lucas' work to tell him that I think I am broken and to share the embarrassing, yet, humorous interview story.

I figured, now that it's been a few more months and we are in Colorado this would be easier.  People live here because they want to, and most jobs will pay decent wages because there aren't 986298346 students applying. However, I have had no luck in the last week and a half.

I have decided to be a nanny again. At first, we thought this would be a bad idea. We thought it would be a little too painful to be the one caring for someone elses baby when day after day all I think about and want is my own.

Unfortunately, as I have applied at other jobs they all seem so unimportant. The only thing I think I could really put my heart into is taking care of kids. And luckily, I'm a really good nanny. I really really care about the kids I watch and I want them to have fun. Of course, it's not always fun, but for the most part its the best kind of job I've had.

I have an interview to care for twin newborns. Its in a week, and I am excited for it. The pay is good, I will fall in love with the babies (if I get the job), and I only hope that I will be able to do it without it becoming emotionally painful or something. I still love other babies, and just because I want my own doesn't make me not want to be around kids.


Lucas and I went to the cemetery yesterday. We brought a little baby doll for Molly and a tiny hot wheels car for Kellen. I'm not much for bringing toys instead of flowers, but flowers are really expensive and they were all VERY feminine (Valentines?) So I went with the toys.

We got there and drove down to "baby land". There was another family there visiting a little baby boy. They had shovelled a path through the snow to their son's headstone and the mom and dad were each holding another toddler and they whispered things to eachother and stood there for a while together. They made me both hopeful for a day when we will explain to our kids about their angel siblings, but also sad because we came so close to having that, but instead we now have two headstones buried in the snow instead of one.

Unfortunately, we did not have a shovel, and since Molly and Kellen have flat headstones we had no way of knowing exactly where to place our gifts. We stood in the snow for a while and guessed where they were, but eventually we left and decided to come back when the snow has melted a bit more. We would give them their gifts then. That was a bit disappointing.


Because this post ended up sounding more grumpy and sad than I actually feel, I feel a strange need to say that I have the best husband in the world. Also, my dog is amazing. 
I'm not really sad today. 
In fact, I played Mario for like two hours and I was amazing at it. 
Lucas basically falls more in love with me when he sees my skills.

Maybe I should put that on my resume....
"Shockingly good at playing Mario Wii. A real team player!"

I like it.

Thursday, February 9, 2012


It's still hard to believe we moved here. 
It's pretty awesome. 
So awesome in fact, it's hard to believe. 
Luckily, I have proof that we moved.

I think it will finally feel real when we move out of the in-laws house and into our own place.
It might even start feeling real when we have jobs and have to go to work.

Unfortunately, once our families realize we aren't on a vacation but we LIVE here they might stop taking us out to dinner and movies so much.
 That would be a cryin' shame.

Last night Lucas' dad and sister went with us to "The Woman In Black".
It's no surprise that I'm a Harry Potter fan.
Not necessarily a Daniel Radcliffe fan, but how could I not want to see Mr Potter in a scary movie?
First off, don't watch any scene with a child in it.
Secondly, don't sit in a creepy Chinese themed theatre when you go see this movie.

The movie is freaky, not horrifying. 
It's a classic, old-style horror ghost story.
What REALLY got me into the freaked out mood, though, was my haunted seat.
As I was sitting there my seat would move forward and up a little out of nowhere.
I would slam it back down.
It would start moving again.
I checked Lucas' arms to see why he would be messing with my seat. He was not doing it.
I checked my sister-in-law, she was huddled in her seat in fear and could care less about trying to scare me. Finally, I decided to scold whoever must be behind me and messing with my chair.
Nope, nobody in any of the ten rows behind me. 
My chair was haunted.
*Whisper* "Lucas, my seat is moving on it's own!"
His eyebrows lift and he mouths "ooooo"
Quickly his eyes return to the screen. 
Clearly, he does not understand that I am living a scary ghost moment.

The seat kept moving and I tried to ignore it and slam it backwards over and over. 
That was one pesky ghost. 
Finally I moved seats.

Of course, as I eyed the chair it was motionless. At least the ghost didn't follow me.

Then, after the movie I went to the restroom.
It was all black with red accents. 

While in the stall I see a shadow cross one way outside the stall.
No sounds.
Then the shadow goes the other way.
Dang it, scary movies!
Luckily, the shadow moved into the stall next to me and just happened to have very soft shoes on. 
The shadow was a person. She needs to stomp more.

After we left the theatre we went to Chilis.
Just inside the door, right behind the host's stand, I see something.
There are two legs with big rubber boots on hanging from the ceiling, slowly swaying back and forth.
It seriously looks as though there is a hanging man in the restaurant.
what are the chances? This is a creepy night.
Stupid Harry Potter.
Luckily, my quesadilla explosion salad had way too much dressing on it so I forgot all about the ghosts. Turns out ghosts leave you alone when you don't think about them.

Oh, also, I stayed up pretty late playing Mario Wii.
Its addicting. Lucas was asleep next to me and Moose was asleep at my feet.
When I finally turned it off I went to the restroom and got ready for bed.
When I came back I reached out in the dark trying to be silent so Lucas would stay asleep.
I found the footboard and used it to find my way around to my side of the bed.
Then something huge and dark and husband jumped out from a dark corner and grabbed me.
I screamed "HOLY!" and covered my face.
Its a strange moment when you are scared and you seriously think you are going to die.
Then it's your punk husband and everything is fine.
And you say, "You little!" but you are actually jealous that they got you so good.

Lucas walked out of the corner and laughed and laughed until we were both asleep.
Also, my scream made Moose pretty freaked out for a long time.

Also, look at these creepy icicles outside our bedroom window. They are coming for us!

Friday, February 3, 2012

Road Trip!

We set out for Colorado early in the morning. It was beautiful. As I said in my last post,
we prayed that if we were meant to be stopped we would be.
That is a risky prayer when you live in Rexburg Idaho and you are moving to Denver, Colorado in January. RISKY!

But, lucky for us, the roads were wonderful and dry. There were almost no cars on the road. It was safe and easy and fast (11 hours to the minute, but with a moving truck that is not bad).

Sun just starting to come up, it was stunning.

As we came over the hill there was a thick low fog that was  breathtaking.

Moose spent about a half an hour sleeping on every item in the car. looking for the best view.

This is what I looked at for about 9 of the eleven hours.

At about this point in the drive, I discovered that the Kid Rock song that "says",
Bawitdaba-da-bang-da-dang-diggy-diggy-diggy-said-the boogie-said-up-jump-the-boogie"
actually says,
"Bar with the Bar the bank the bank digging digging digging with the bookie said up jump the bookie" 
 I was sure it was about Kid Rock planning to rob a bank with a guy nicknamed "Bookie"

Road trips make my brain weird. 
I sang my own version for about an hour.

DENVER! Almost there!


You know what else is amazing?
We got home, and the next day we unloaded the moving truck. It was beautiful out.  T-shirt weather. 

As soon as we were settled, Colorado turned into this:
(This is not my picture. But it looks like this outside, but add nonstop giant snowflakes falling all day. Schools were all cancelled. Its still snowing. I'll take pictures tomorrow.)

Anyway, I'd say that the fact that we missed that storm COMPLETELY and made it here before even a flake fell was a complete blessing. 

We both feel much more certain that we are supposed to be here.  Surely, nobody has luck that good.
Not even Kid Rock and he got away with a bank robbery and convinced everyone he was just singing jibberish nonsense about nothing. 
I've got you figured out, sir.

Washing Machine Woes

Before we came here we prayed and prayed to know if it was the right thing to do. As I mentioned before, we did not feel any certain pull either way. We made our decision to move, and prayed that if it was wrong, we would know it by our path being blocked. Basically, we asked the Lord to "Stop us if this is wrong. Let something keep us here if we aren't meant to be there."

So we set to work. Things happened so easy and smoothly.
Packing was easy. Cleaning was cake. 
Getting a moving truck was affordable and easy.
Loading the truck was easy.
Having somewhere to go was easy.
Everything was easy.

Then, we decided to do our last load of laundry.
 In a year and a half of living at this apartment we have been in love with our washer and dryer. No problems at all. Quiet as a mouse. Clean clothes, easy machines to clean. They have been wonderful.

So we are about three hours from leaving, and our last load of laundry was just finished. The "Door Locked" light turned off, the machine clicked, and Lucas went to pull on the door. It would not open. Something happened and it seemed the machine could not unlock on its own. Lucas pulled and pulled and it was not budging. Since we don't own the machines, we can't exactly just decide to break it to get our clothes out (Plus, we really want our deposit back). 

We checked for advice on facebook to see if anyone knew a trick. 
We called my handy Dad. He had no clue.
We checked Dr. Google but almost everything we found said "break it".
It was so discouraging and random that suddenly, with our apartment completely empty and everything shining and clean, our wonderful machine would refuse to open and give us the last bit of our stuff, and then it was going to eat our 500 dollar deposit. 
I think it was going to miss us, really. It felt like it was saying. I WILL NOT LET YOU MOVE!

Lucas grabbed a screwdriver from the tools that, for some reason, he thought we should leave out as the only thing we didn't pack. Blessing!
He took apart the washer. The back was off and the top was off and there were 5 million little black screws everywhere. Google said there was a "manual switch". 

Such lies. 

Nothing. There was nothing we could do and I was so;idso;aidsnflk! 

We set the washer to do another wash and hoped it would auto- unlock on it's own. Crossing our fingers we left to get some dinner with friends and tricked ourselves into believing it would open when we got back. Of course it didn't. That clear door seemed like such a mean little window to the clothing that was the only thing that made me feel like "Shoot. We aren't supposed to move"

Then Lucas said, "Well, babe. I think it's time to pray for a miracle."
We both walked over and kneeled down in the empty living room and prayed that the Lord would help us know how to fix it, or if it was broken, that He would fix it for us. We
 said "amen" and went and stared at the washer. 

We then decided just to reach our hand into every little crack on the inside of the washer to find a switch to fix it. There really was nothing we could do. 

Then Lucas reached down and gave the door a light little tug. 

It opened. 


I love prayer. There really is no other answer. 

That machine was good and stuck. We found no way to fix it. But Heavenly Father can do anything.

Once again we learned that He cares about us, He loves us, and He cares about the little things in our life. 

That was awesome. 

Then we left our clothes there and moved.

Just kidding. We folded them, left the door open, and took them with  us.