Thursday, September 20, 2012


Every now and then I get so behind on my blog that catching up seems so exhausting so I start blogs and never finish them. That usually leads to a blog of ramblings where I take all the detail out of stories just to make sure I have my life updated. This is one of those times. (Surprise!)

Kellen finally has his headstone. It is beautiful. We love it. It is a little more masculine than Molly's and it has the quote from something Lucas said to Kellen when we were dressing him before his service. It is really really special to us. If you were one of the many people who make donations for Kellens headstone and funeral services, THANK YOU! If I could I would hug you forever. I cannot express how truly thankful I am for your donations and love. We couldn't have felt the peace we do without your help. Here is the beautiful gift you gave us and to our son. Lucas let me know when it was being installed since he works there now. We were able to see it being placed and to visit both babies for a while. It was a really great moment for all of us. I love my babies. I love my family. I love my friends. We are so blessed.

We found out that LDS Family services is now working with an agency to do home studies here and if we work through them we will be able to still get an itsaboutlove adoption profile up through LDSFS. This is great news! Now we will be able to have our profile up with TWO agencies so maybe our chances of getting found by the mom who is looking for us even better. Speaking of adoption, we can get a homestudy now because we found a great new apartment! Stay tuned for better pictures, but here's a sneak peek:
Family Room

One half of the kitchen. I love the cabinets :)

I had to include a grainy cell phone picture of this awesome closet!
Huge windows that Moose can see out of all day :) He likes to watch the neighbor kids play outside

Lucas is still hard at work at the cemetery. He has helped a bunch of people already, including helping to comfort a family who lost a baby at birth. I love knowing he is able to use our experiences to help other people. I just love him.

I have been super dizzy lately. It got so bad that at one point I had to leave work early and lay on the couch all night because I was so afraid I would pass out. It wasn't like room-spinning dizziness. I was dizzy because I get close to passing out over and over. It's super confusing and pretty annoying to deal with. I went to the doctor and all my blood tests and my EKG came back normal. They want to do a heart monitor and an EEG on my brain to see what is going on. Luckily, it has gotten better the last couple days, so if it goes away I might cancel the brain $can (if you know what I mean).

Lucas took me on a date yesterday when I got off work. We went bowling and to a movie and it was so so much fun. We were laughing so much and had so much fun. He won It was great!

My job is going well still. It is getting hard to me to stay super motivated because I am underpaid. I'm nervous to ask for a raise, though.  The salary sounded fantastic since we were fresh from Idaho (where 9 dollars an hour is a decent paying job). However, trying to live on that kind of money here in Colorado is a bit harder. Luckily Lucas got his job, but still, I need to ask for a raise (scary!).

I carved a little wooden house that is adorable. Except while I was carving it I accidentally stabbed myself in the hand. I ran to the kitchen to clean the blood gushing from my hand and Lucas ran to help me. All the sudden my whole body got really warm and I felt really sick and I just had enough time to warn Lucas that I was about to pass out and I went unconcious.  Apparantly I collapsed and whacked my head on the cabinets and Lucas tried to catch me and lay me on the ground while my face twitched like crazy and I made weird sounds. Eeeeeee. I woke up and felt horrible.  Luckily, Lucas took pictures of me to show me later because he knew it would entertain me.

That night Lucas woke up to me sleep walking right into the wall. I'm a train wreck. hahaha!

 There neighborhood behind our apartment complex is the most beautiful and American feeling neighborhood I've ever seen. We fell in love the first time we walked Moose through it, and we are determined to live there. So when we leave this fantastic apartment, we will move to the best and most stunning neighborhood ever to exist. Life is so amazing.

Here are some funny conversations Lucas and I had the other day while we were working.
You should know, Lucas is scared of claw-foot bathtubs. He thinks he will get killed in it if we get one. That boy...he slays me.

The other day at work there was a guy with two little kids with him while he was buying a car. The little girl was really shy and started crying whenever anyone tried to play with her. I think she was about 14 months old. I came out of my office when I heard her and smiled at her from across the room. She walked really really slowly over to me and held her arms up to me. So I picked her up and she smiled at me and then just let me hold her and we started coloring pictures. I held her on my lap and we colored and I gave her Acura stickers from my office. Then after about 20 minutes her brother came over to us, he was about 5, and asked me why I was holding his sister. I told him it was because she wanted me to, and he said, "Oh I see. I'm Talon!" Then we talked for a while and I asked if he liked books and I walked them both over to the kid section and we read stories and acted like we were eating all the food in the books. Talon was all over it. He was rolling on the couch after "eating" handfuls of cake in the story and saying "So much cake! Now I feel sick!" And I said, "Me too!!! We ate wayyy to much food! I think..I think we turned into cake!" and Talon rolled around and said, "Now I'm Chocolate Cake!!! AAHHH!" we laughed and ate pictures of veggies to turn ourselves back into people. We read a few more books and while we were reading their Dad came over and offered me a job as their nanny. He just kept watching us playing and kept asking me to be their nanny.  haha  I gave him my number and told him I would love to watch his kids anytime.

Playing with those cute kids made me ache even more to adopt and be a mom. I should be a mother. Raising children is all I ever wanted and I just feel RIGHT when I'm caring for kids, I always have. They make me so happy. So maybe I'll get some babysitting jobs out of it. Playing with them also made me miss the kids I have nannied. Especially Kelsey, who was the age of the little girl. I still dream about her sometimes. I fell so in love with her, its really sad for me to think she might not even remember me.

Oh, and we have an amazing new ward. It feels like home already and everyone is so loving and genuine. I never want to change wards. I have felt so amazing every Sunday when we go home. Its the best feeling.

This blog took an unexpected turn down memory lane. Anyway, life is pretty amazing. We are happy and blessed, but we are also still waiting.  I'll leave you with this video of Moose that you will probably find boring, but I think he's adorable.