Promised Pictures

I leave tonight for Portland to see Steven and Ceci get married tomorrow at the Portland Temple! I'm really excited, here is a picture of the two of them....
They are so cute together, I love hearing about them planning their wedding, because they aren't really stressed, they are both just happy and easygoing. 1 day to go!

This are a couple pictures of Rachael, the little girl I watch. Below is her older sister Morgan I also watch.










Portland, Oregon here I come!

The joys of babies

I have been working with the Raether family for a month now, three days a week. They have two little girls. Morgan, who is 21 months old, and Rachael, who is 5 months old. Rachael has downs syndrome but as of right now she is jut like every 5 month old, happy and adorable. The Raethers are really really nice, and extremely easy going, so that makes for a good nanny/ employer situation. I feel good about it like I did with the Komineks. Gail is a Dentist, and Pete works for Smart Water. When I interviewed for the job it seemed really nice, and they offered me $15 an hour. They had said the pay was 15 to 20 based on experience, and I have TONS of experience. When the offered the job they said the wanted to start paying where their last nanny was being paid and that was 15. I was a little disappointed because I thought I had the experience to be worth more, as they had said...but I was so desperate for a job that I accepted anyway.

The first few days of work were pretty good, its always a little difficult getting used to a new job. I got "trained" by Gail's mom, but she doesnt usually work here in this house on the days that I dont work..she takes the girls to her house. So she wasnt quite sure about how a lot of things are done here. It seemed pretty easy, a lot like watching Kelsey and Morgan. I caught on really quickly. The second day of being alone, I was walking down the stair holding Morgan, and their stairs are really narrow, I was wearing socks and...SLIP!!! I hugged Morgan so I wouldn't drop her, but since I was holding onto her I couldn't grab the railing so I fell down about 5 stairs on my bum. It was SO painful. My tailbone felt like someone whacked me with a sledgehammer over and over. My eyes started watering, I made sure that Morgan was okay, then I grabbed my backside and held back a scream of pain. OUCH! My vision got all blurry as the pain got worse, and then i got a huge headache. I went to go sit on the couch, and it was as if i got punched again, I should have guessed sitting would hurt. My mom said she broke her tailbone before, so I called her to tell her what happened. She let me know that it took a year for her tailbone to stop hurting. A year?! I dont have a year. I plan on getting married this year, and I would like to enjoy my honeymoon ;) sorry....kinda. I'm serious though.

So I sat carefully and walked carefully and stopped running for a while because my tailbone hurt so bad, but slowly it got better. It still hurts when I am sitting and rock backwards, but its not unbearable. I gie it another month and I'll be fine. I think my mom must have broken hers, and I just bruised mine. Thank goodness!

Now that my backside is feeling almost pain free, work has been a lot better. I get a little sick of being in this house, so today when the girls wake up from their naps I think I will take them to walmart or the mall or something. Just to get out of the house, for them and for me. Getting out might almost be worth getting shoes and socks and jackets and diaperbags and bottles and car seats and everything ready to leave. Haha Oh kids, what fun!

So after Morgan went down for her nap today I was holding Rachael, and she was really gassy. After she let a few fly she smelled horrible and her diaper was wet. I took her upstair to change her diaper, and usually she is just gassy, I looked and i was right, just wet. I set her on her parents bed, and grabbed the diaper and wipes. I took her diaper off and rolled it up and went to wipe her cute litle bum and EXPLOSION!!!!!!!! she pooped EVERYWHERE all over her parents nice duvet. Crap! Literally! I panicked grabbed another diaper, some wipes and quickly stripped Rachael wiped her clean put a new diaper on her and some clean clothes. I took her downstairs and put her in her exersaucer. Then I went back up to try and figure out what to do about the baby poop volcano that just went off all over all the nice stuff in that room. I grabbed everything poopy, stripped the bed and took it down to the laundry room. Put everything in water with OXYCLEAN----amazing stuff---- and let it soak. Now I have to go wash the duvet dry it and get it back on their King size bed, hoping its not stained.


I LOVE MY JOB, right?



Luckily I get paid today. I have some people I am going to send some money to for various things, and then I can save save save!!!!!


Lucas and I aren't officially engaged yet, but its coming. We talk about it all the time, and we even went and looked at our friends, the Merklings, house. They have a Beautiful home in Larkspur, Colorado where Lucas and I decided to have or wedding reception. Mark is cooking the food for us, so its really nice that their house is perfect for a reception too. We hired my mom's friend Lynette to do the decorating flowers and arranging for the reception. Now I just need a dress, a ring, a cake, and thousands of dollars!


I know that Lucas is going to propose, but I dont know when or how. I told him that since we have been so open about it, that I'll be expecting it to be coming. If he is going to surprise me, he's going to have to be sneaky. I cant wait! I love surprises!

I love him. I leave tomorrow for Oregon to see Steven and Ceci get married. I'm really excited!!!! What year! Ceci is adorable and seems really excited, If I can figure out how to link to other peoples blogs I will link to thiers. I'll post pictures of their reception later.

Also, i finally finished reading the Book of Mormon cover to cover. It took me about a month and a half, but I finished it. What an amazing book, full of so much truth and lessons. My life has been so blessed by reading it and following the lessons its teaches. What a great thing it is to be a member of the church!


Aloha! (sad day, I miss Hawaii! Honeymoon?)

I need a blizzard in paradise

I will only live in Hawaii for 8 more hours. It has been 18 unbelievable and amazing months of living in paradise. I came here to work as a nanny. I moved to a life where I knew nobody, didn't know the hawaiian way of life, had zero friends, didn't even know the people with whom I would be living. I was terrified to move here to a world of unknowns. I have always liked change, and the idea of a fresh start was equally as exciting as it was terrifying.

Luckily when I got here it took only a short while and I had made a few close friends, and got into what turned into a long term relationship with Jamie. I LOVED my job, since I was watching the smartest, and most adorable little girl ever to live on the Earth. I promise, you wont believe me until you meet her and before you know it you are wrapped around her pudgy little finger. I'm going to miss holding her little hands so much, she was my best bud here all day everyday. It felt amazing to be excited for work after a long weekend away from that little girl.

Saying Goodbye to Kelsey was rushed, and really really difficult for me. I had mentally prepared myself to keep a wall up so I wouldn't lose my control in front of her and freak her out. I went over to her house (I moved into Jamie's apartment for a few days since he's on a surf trip) and she was getting ready to eat lunch. She talked to me and her Grandma for a while, then they ate lunch. I asked if I could have some time to take Kelsey in the front yard and play with her for a minute and say Goodbye to her. Bill said Yes, and I appreciated it. She got down from her chair and grabbed my hand and we went out to her swing in the front tree. I pushed her in the swing and told her how much I loved her and would miss her.

"where you going?"
"back to Colorado, to see my family. I'll miss you so much"
"I go swimming and then I go with you?"
"I wish you could, but you get to stay here and play with Mommy and Daddy and Grandma and Grandpa"
"I want to go with you"

I want you too. How can I love a little girl so much, who isn't even mine? She was 10 months old when I started and is now 2 and a half. She became my oxygen here. I had a LOT of hard times in Hawaii, but she made it all worth it. If I was sad I could always count on her pressing her face on mine and telling me to not cry and not be sad.

I'll need her next to me on the plane as I fly away from the life I love here. I'll have to pretend to feel her hands on my face and her nose on mine as she calms me down. She can be so truly comforting sometimes I wonder who helped who more. I kept her fed, and safe, and taught her colors and games, and she gave me so so much more than that. I'll miss you my little friend. :(

Jamie already flew away, but I'm sitting her on his couch bawling my eyes out. How can one person feel so lonely? My friend Christian has been spending a lot of time with me, and it has helped keep me happy. He makes me laugh, and I really enjoy his company. Too bad whenever I'm alone this past week I can't keep myself from crying. I need some snow to keep the plane from flying away.

Right before Jamie left he ran to where I was crying in the car and held up his hands in the "I LOVE YOU" sign. I love you too, so much. I'll miss you everyday.



"I love you, Kelsey."
"thanks you. I love you. I LOVE YOU. You're my nanny, you hold me always"

I'm so sad.

Changes

Sarah and I had a great final two days of vacation. Sunday we went to Pearl Harbor, it was about to close so we weren't able to ride the boat out to the Arizona Memorial but we still walked aroudn the museum and read signs all about it. We were planning on hiking the "Stairway to Heaven" aka the Haiku Stairs, for the sunrise in the morning so we went hom early and went to bed.

While I was asleep Sarah finished reading one of my Favorite books "My Sister's Keeper" by Jodi Picoult. I highly recommend it- it will move you.

We got up at 2:00 a.m. and met some friends over in Kaneohe, then drove to the stairway. The stairway is a 4,000 step hike up the edge of the mountain. It is absolutely beautiful, and a major work out. I was overly energetic due to getting less sleep than I needed, but enough for energy, but everyone else was sleepy. After a while, we made it to the first landing, where the boys decided to take a nap. Sarah and I stayed with them on the landing for a while, then decided to hike the other 2/3 of the hike ourselves to make it to the top. We were so happy when we finally finished the hike! We were also WAY tired, and our legs were shaking out of control the whole way down. Once at the bottom we met up with the sleeping boys, and then they took us to breakfast to make up for letting us hike the rest alone.

We spend the rest of the afternoon and early evening on the north shore, eating an acai bowl, and then laying and playing at Waimea Bay. It was really really fun. I was really sad to have to take her back to the airport, but luckily this time I will be seeing her again sooner than later! I haven't laughed so hard in a long time, its so fun to be completely understood by someone. Miss you, Sarah!

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My new music obsession is James Morrison. He was a featured guest on Jason Mraz's album We Sing. We Dance. We steal things, in the song Details in the fabric (Which is where I got my blog title) He has an amazing voice that gives me chills when I listen to it.

Also big news: I am moving back to Colorado on September 9th! While I am excited to see everyone in Colroado and get back to my old life, I am also very very very sad to leave everyone I love here in hawaii.

Jamie and i have been together for a year and a half, and while we have broken up once or twice we can never manage to stay away from eachother for very long. We fell in love fairly quickly, and me moving is going to hurt worse than I can even explain. He leaves for a surfing trip in Nicaragua with his brother TOMORROW. so tonight and tomorrow are the only days I get go see him until we live thousands of miles apart.

I also have been getting limited time with Kelsey, the little girl I have been a nanny for in Hawaii. I adore her SO much. I'm completely depressed that I will move home and slowly she will forget me, nobody remember their two year old nanny. :( I'll have to stay in tough, even though things with her mom are REALLY weird right now. Its more important to me to know Kelsey as she grows up than to avoid awkwardness around her mom.

I have to go continue packing. Is this really happening?!

zoo keeping

Wednesday afternoon I was in the sports store trying on some swim suits to wear at the ocean swim, when I got a call from an unknown number. I answered it to a lady saying she found my profile on nannies4hire and that since I had my phone number posted she would call me and see if I could help her out. She lives 1/2 hour from where I live in Kailua, but only about 10 minutes from my boyfriend, Jamie, so I know the area. She said she has two little kids and she is moving on Wednesday the following week..and her nanny just stopped showing up to work the past few days and she needed help. She said her girls were 3 and 5 and that she would need my help for 6 days straight.

My boss is on maternity leave right now because she just had a baby, and I have been helping her for about 2-3 hours a day for the last week. Other than those hours I have not been working at all. I figured this is the best time for me and for my employers for me to take a week off and help this poor woman, right? Well I explain to the lady that as long as I can work the wednesday she leaves for the family I live with that I think I should be able to help her out. She goes "Oh thank you! I'm sorry I think I'll only be able to pay you $1000..." She may have said something else but I was stunned and didn't hear it. Did she say 1000 dollars? In a week? Sign me up!

I drove home to ask Wendi, my employer, if she would be okay for the next week and explained the situation to her. She said she would think about it. She asked my Boss, and after a few hours they came and talked to me. Turns out they were offended, and they practically told me that if I took the job that they wouldn't need my help anymore except on Wendesdays, and that they would only pay me 8 an hour on Wednesday. They will still let me live with them and use their car and eat their food until I leave and their new nanny shows up.

(I was already planning on moving- which my my decision, not theirs- so its not like I was fired, its just that now they were kinda getting the ball rolling on hiring a new nanny since I was going to need this week off to help the lady. I am also going to need the next week off because my SISTER IS COMING TO HAWAII! I can't wait to see her. But its a week away, and that week is going to creep by.

So Wednesday night i drive over to Hawaii Kai to meet the lady and her kids. I find their house and walk in, its REALLY fancy. I talk to the mom, who looks really young to me, and later she tells me she is 31, so only a year older than Jamie- no wonder she looks so young to me. Well we sat and talked and while we talked her daughters who are very cute little girls were giggling and running around showing off. They also managed to make a huge mess in about 2 minutes in whatever room we were in. I could tell I would be doing a lot of cleaning during the next six days.

Thursday. I show up to work at 8 o'clock and the girls are just waking up. They are both tired, and I start trying to talk to them. The mother doesn't tell me anything to do. She just goes and sits at her computer and works. I decided to try and get the girls to notice me and realize that I was in charge so I started trying to get them dressed and ready for the day. The three year old just starts screaming and pulling away from me and trying to run to her mom. Well I know its my job to keep t he girls happy and entertained but this girl was throwing a major fit! finally the mom comes in and aks the girl what she wants for breakfast, and she says " I WANT PIZZA!" so the mom laughs and reaches into the fridge and pulls out pizza. The girls eat pizza for breakfast. Instantlly I think "NO! DON'T GIVE THEM WHATEVER THEY WANT!" but I dont say anything, in case this is just a one time thing. The rest of the day just creeps by. Both girls are spoiled brats and throw fits, but will randomly be really cute and sweet. Probably how they charm their mom into continuing to spoil the living daylights out of them.

Friday. Theta, the oldest, wants to play with her friends all the time, and the younger girl wantes to tear up the house. Somehow I have to keep an eye on both of them, though Theta is outside and Kaia is inside. I have to keep trying to manipulate the younger into "wanting" to be outside but she just says "You're not my friend! You get out of my house!" and stuff like that. Theta's friend Haley comes over to play and while we are on our walk to get her Theta tells me "If you dont carry my shoes for me I am going to stab you. My aunt is going to come here and kill you with a knife" I am floored. How did this little girl learn to talk like this?! That is SO violent for a 6 year old! And to say to someone for something so small. I try and put her in timeout which leads to crying and more death threats and I basically just want to push her on the ground and get in my car and go home. This is going to be a LONG week. I NEVER hate kids, usually even bratty ones- but I feel little to no emotion or need to be liked by these children. I just have to get through the next five days and try to keep them safe and happy until I can get paid.

Saturday. SURPRISE! Theta is having a birthday party! I think this will be fun and maybe I will get some time off since there will be moms here and Theta's mom wont be working. NOPE. The mom comes and finds me hours before the party starts and says "I need your help. My cleaners cancelled on me and I have to go shopping. Will you clean my house?" Can I say no? I instantly snap into i-love-doing-work-that-you-should-do-youself-for-no-extra-pay mode and say "OH, yeah! Go shop, I'll clean up!" She says she'll take the youngest girl, and instantly I'm happier. The less time with that little devil the better. While she is gone i put a movie on for Theta and clean the house inside and out top to bottom. It looks really good considering I dont know where anything goes. It takes me two hours. Theta's movie ends and her guests start arriving and still mom is not home. I try and entertain her guests and their moms for a while and then Theta's mom shows up. Soon guests are coming in and out. All of these kids are very rich, and VERY spoiled. They are all used to getting whatever they want, which is obvious by the complete lack of sharing and temper tantrums every few minutes. I dont know how I got myself here, but I am thinking $1000 is just not enough. Too bad I already agreed to stay through next Tueday! Aah! Kill me. During the actual party I am running around like a mad woman trying to make sure the little kids are not drowning in the pool, and the older kids aren't painting on the house ( they were) and that I can clean a bit here and there. The dog keeps barking out of control at the kids in the pool and I have to keep telling her to be quiet. It doesn't take long and the neighbor yells out the window and curses saying we need to shut the dog up and we are idiots because dogs aren't hard to control. haha! What a nut! He was old and not wearing a shirt and he left his window open. If you dont want to hear the dog shut the window right? haha!

Well after about 6 hours of entertaining and scolding and dealing with a party of animals and their non-helpful parents its time to go inside and get ready for bed. Well I get the kids inside and in their PJ's and set them up with a movie, kids are running everywhere and like 1 kid is payng attention to the movie. I want to pull my hair out and the doorbell rings, dog starts barking like crazy and runs at the door. I open the door and there is a cop standing there. (GREAT! haha! Am I on camera? seriously!) He asks if he can talk to me and I stall him saying its not my house or my dog. All the little kids come around the corner to see why there is a cop here. (Who calls the cop on a 5 year old party?!?!f HAHA! Yeah---We're ragers! Better get out of town!) Anyway the cop says the crazy man callled the cops about the dog. haha.

I go calm the girls down who are crying that they are gonig to go to prison. Haha kids are funny when they being bratty. I finally get them calmed down and in bed and Thetas mom comes down and says "WHO WANTS A LATE NIGHT PIZZA!" the ruselt: Pandamonium. I dont know how you spell that but it was nuts. Kids love pizza. and I just had them in bed. I tell the mom that I had to leave since my shift was up, and got the heck out of there. I drove home stressed out of my mind just to get home and hear that my best friend made out with a really cute boy who I have a crush on (but wouldn't do anything about ever because I have a boyfriend who I love) and HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND TOO. Which disappoints me. I also find out that I missed the Jason Mraz concert! NO! I LOVE JASON MRAZ (details in the fabric is one of his songs). My boyfriend Jamie went and said it was like a pot smoking and drinking festival and that he went for only half an hour and left because of all the partying. He saw three Jason Mraz songs though, SO lucky! Then he tells me he drank a beer. Why?! I am not going into detail about why this upsets me like it does, but I have finally had enough of this terrible day. I start bawling and cry through the night, and am unusually rude to Jamie which I feel terrible about.

The next day I inch through the day and just do whatever I can to continue keeping the kids spoiled and rotten so that they dont scream at me. I get whoever asks me for something whatever they want, which is what the mom wants...and it makes them only threaten me a few times and way less temper tantrums. Can I have a knife? Sure, here you go, heres your knife three year old. I get through they day and go to Jamies house for some snuggling and de-stressing. I miss him. I felt bad for being mean and we cuddled it out. haha.

Now I'm off to work. just today and tomorrow and I'm out of this terrible place. I should ask for like 4000 instead since I did WAY more than watch two little girls for six days. Housekeeper, zookeeper. Sure, sign me up. I'm exhausted.

Just two more days, just two more days. oh boy.

When my sister gets here on Saturday I am going to get things worked out so we can go skydiving right away. I just might need to jump out of an airplane to get rid of the stress of the past week. Did I chose this career?