I apologize for keeping you clean and making you so sparkly and attractive. I was doing it to impress my husband, as he likes you beautiful inside and out. Unfortunately, it seems other drivers can't get enough of you, either! This was a problem I had not seen coming. Remember how we went to the library and I parked you right where you should be, in between the lines? Then I left for a minute and when I returned you were practically cuddling with another car? Oh, you are such a flirt! Why are you so desirable? I had to wedge myself between the cars to get in my door to take you home. You little rascal.
Dear library go-er/ owner of my ride's fling,