Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Dressing him

Healing physically is not nearly the uphill climb that emotional healing tends to be.

The first big step was coming home from the hospital without our son the same way we did without our daughter.  I cried so hard when Lucas helped me get on the bed and I looked around my empty, childless room. I'm sure they were both there in spirit, but I longed to see them physically. I want them in my arms. Moose could tell we were hurting. As Lucas lay with his arms around me and his fingers in my hair Moose bounced between us licking us everywhere he could reach. He is as helpless to instantly heal us as we are to heal each other.

The next big step is today. In a few minutes we are going to the funeral home to put Kellen in the clothes he will rest in. I always regretted not being the one to put Molly in her dress and I will not miss that chance this time. It will be very hard to hold him limp in my arms again, but it feels like one of the things a mother and father should do for their child.

Pray for us today.

8 comments:

Amanda said...

Amber,
I am a friend of MaShay. I have been captivated by your story since I heard about Molly. I want to thank you for your strength. You and your husband are special souls who deserve nothing but happiness. You are shinning examples to all around you of how to endure through this journey with faith and hope. I am thankful for the opportunity to know of you and your story. Your testimony of the Plan of Salvation has brought peace and joy to my heart. I pray that you find joy and happiness in your time of hardship. I know that you will be with both Molly and Kellen again. Thank you again for your example. Know that many are praying for you, including my family.
-Amanda

Jackie said...

Thinking of you both today.

paula said...

you are in my thoughts and prayers. much love

Harlowe said...

Praying for you guys all the time. It'll be nice for you to see your baby again, even under the circumstances and you will never ever regret it.

Hadlocks said...

I'm sure I'm not the only one who checks your blog to see how you are doing, and I was glad to see you posted again today. You and Lucas are in our prayers, love you Amber!

Gordon & Julie Bird Blog said...

You are in my prayers. I know this doesn't help ease your pain, but you are an inspiration to others and show such great faith. Surely great blessings await your family.

juliane2004 said...

I am so so sorry.

Tara LaRue said...

Oh sweet Amber, I am heartbroken and truly sorry. Your strength is inspiring and I'm grateful for your willingness to share. You and Lucas are constantly in my prayers...