Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Day 9: A recent Photo

A photo (Or photos?) taken since our loss.

The stages of life since our loss have been so different it has been hard to pick just one, so I will post a few pictures of life since we lost her.

1. New Body, New life.

I debated putting this online for obvious reasons, but it shows all my scars from the gallbladder surgery and the emergency C-section. This is four weeks to the day from when Molly passed away. I looked as beat up as I felt both emotionally and physically. C-section scar, stretch marks, Gall Bladder incisions... I had to accept it all with the truth of our loss. A new body with a new life that I am ever reminded is out of our control.

2. New Nephew

Weeks after our loss our Nephew, Hank, was born. He is a beautiful baby boy. It has been a blessing and a trial having him join our family. He makes us so happy because we see after our loss that having a baby survive IS possible. He makes us sad because with every milestone comes a pang of sadness as we realize Molly would have been there too. We just went to his baby blessing. It was both beautiful and difficult for both of us. We dont want to miss any part of the happiness of Hank's life because we see Molly in him. We wont hide from his birthdays, baptism, sports events...anything.

3, Memory Book

I have been making a memory book of Molly. It is taking me FOREVER because I have never been a "scrapbooker". But, I really want to preserve Molly's items in a special way and in a way that our kids will look at her and know of their sister, and how deeply she has affected our family. This book has been a wonderful gift of healing, a project I can work on and target my emotions and love for her into.

4. Life.

We went to the birthday party of my good friend, Carrie. She was getting one year older. She had a little kid style party, and we celebrated. Her friends there knew about Molly but didn't say anything so I was able to feel normal. We ate cupcakes, and candy (my diet was ignored and I got sick but it was worth it for a day of normalcy) So life moves on, and people are happy, and we still go see our friends and party. And Carrie is beautiful.

1 comment:

MaShay & Jason said...

I was so surprised to see little Hank on this post. But I really appreciated the whole thing. Every pictures. I love you Amber and hope we get up to see you sooner than later. Love ya sister.