It's been a rough couple of days, yes, but days like that will come. The best thing is, they will also go.
Eventually, things will work out. They have to because there really is no option to give up. Days will come and find us and there is no stopping them. And why would we want to? Every day is another chance for me to appreciate the life I have been given.
Today I am trying to look around me and pay attention to all that I have. Seems a simple and cliche resolution, but it really does work.
I AM BLESSED.
I have wonderful friends, an amazing family, in-laws I adore, a husband who brightens every moment he is a part of, a dog who's teensy nub of a tail wags every time I even look at him, a warm home, a chance for a college education that many would give anything for. I have a very bored fish that the husband has conversations with, two children in heaven who can be with me wherever I am and who make me want to live life better, food to eat, a chance at adoption, a healthy body, and moments that make me laugh every day.
There are many people out there who are suffering far more than I can understand. People are sick, and hurting. People are hungry and homeless. Some people battle depression due to no fault of their own, others are lonely and have no one to turn to. There are children with no families, there are people who doubt their own identity and place in their own homes, there are those who are trapped in an addiction and struggling to make it through every day.
I need to focus my energy, instead of in selfish self-pity, on helping the people around me who quietly go through struggles I can't even begin to understand.
Today I am changing my mind set. I am going to appreciate Kellen and Molly for the part they play in our story. I will not wish to change our situation, because one day they will be resurrected and I will see them and know that enduring right now was completely worth it.
Last night Lucas and I were so discouraged that we went to bed at like 8:30. We both woke up and started our day with some exercise, a shower, and a positive attitude.
Moose is trying to climbhakd on. my face right now. (makes typing difficult)
And life is good. If I dont want to be sad I dont have to be. Or to use my brilliant husband's words of inspiration,
"Don't be and you won't be."