Wednesday, January 18, 2012


Today was one of those days that I remember the moments with Molly and Kellen and get "warm fuzzies".

I went down to Idaho Falls to buy some frozen fruit in bulk from Sams Club (its amazing how having an AMAZING blender makes you want smoothies ALL THE TIME).  On my way home, I began to think about what the Doctor who delivered Kellen told Lucas.

He said that when Kellen was delivered, they placed him on my belly and the whole room was amazed because it was such a reverent moment and he was so beautiful.

I wasn't awake at the time,  so obviously I have no real memory of this moment. However, I have an image that plays in my mind of me laying there on the table- my spirit crushed, my eyes swollen from crying. I can see the doctors and the nurses in my mind. I imagine my sweet baby boy as he is pulled from me. I imagine his tiny little arms and legs, his perfect little head supported by the doctor. I can see him. Then in my mind I see the respect they showed us as he was tenderly placed on my belly.  They gave us a minute- even with me not aware of it- to be together immediately. I will forever be grateful for their kindness.  

I really think that Kellen's spirit was in the room. I hope that he appreciates the moment we were given as much as I do. Maybe that is why the room was so reverent. Everyone in there was in the presence of a perfect angel who was having a moment with his mom. A spirit to spirit kind of moment.

Anyway, I thought about that "memory" today. I am so glad the doctors thought to tell Lucas about that so he could tell me, and so today while I was driving home I could get teary eyed and grateful and remember the tender mercies we are given.


Also, I have some news. Stay tuned.

1 comment:

Christie Smathers said...

You are so beautiful Amber. I have no doubt Kellen's spirit was there. He wouldn't want to miss it.