Saturday, December 10, 2011

Insanity

When we were still in the hospital for my recovery it seemed impossible that we would ever be able to get over the emotional hurdle that grief is. Especially grief over a second lost child. SO daunting.  I didn't want to start the process and I wasn't sure I could do it.

While dreading it and trying to stay positive I had the feeling that exercise would be one way that we could stay emotionally and physically healthy and happy. Last time exercise was nowhere near what I was thinking about. When we lost Molly, we had the hopes of getting pregnant again soon to keep us going. This time, we do not have that  hope- at least not for the near future.

I would adopt a baby today if there was a baby who needed us and all felt right. I would not think twice about it. However, days are going by and since we can't afford to start the process yet, we must continue to live our lives and try to heal. We have to find something to keep us motivated and happy.

Exercise is going to help.

I really like running. Before I got married I was running ALL the time. I did a ten mile race that got me so pumped up. Often, I would run the 7 miles to Lucas' house or just run a few miles every day. It felt so good. The feeling of pushing yourself and staying healthy made me happier. If I was stressed or upset I would go running and it was impossible to feel bad after a good run.

I am only a few weeks since my surgery and I'm  not cleared to work out yet, but I have been unable to stop myself. Okay, I could have stopped, but that just-had-a-baby belly is very motivating.
I've started doing push-ups and (sorry doc) a simple ab routine. 200 different types of crunches in easy 10 or 20 rep sets. It feels great. Just the past couple days of doing those simple things has helped me feel good. Makes me feel better.

So, in an effort to listen to the feeling I had that we need to exercise to get through this, I bought Lucas and I a Christmas present. The INSANITY workout program. I found a great deal on a brand new one on KSL.com and snagged it up. I'm excited to get started (I will wait until the doctor clears me for that one though, haha)

I really want to stick with it. I'll do updates on how it's going every now and then once we start. I'm EXCITED about it!


~*~*~*~*~

Writing the things that make me laugh has been SO helpful too. It keeps me looking for the positive so I can write it down and that keeps my head in a healthy place.

I don't feel guilty for laughing even though there are times I feel like I owe it to my kids to cry all the time. Luckily, I dont think they would want that for me. I think they would want me to be happy and find things that make me laugh. Laughing is healing.

So here is a something that made me laugh today. This is a conversation my friend, Nicole, put on her status. It is a conversation she had with her 2 year old, Annie. Nicole was making cookies.
              Annie: Mom, my eyes hurt.
               Nicole: Why do your eyes hurt?
             Annie: Because I am looking at the cookies.
              Nicole: Um...Ok...What will make your eyes feel better?
             Annie: I need to eat some of those cookies.

Haha! That killed me! I miss being a nanny and hearing all the funny things kids say. My sister-in-law Gunilla writes down some things her kids say and I get a kick out of those.

For example, my niece Karyn once gave her mom this little jewel:
                           Karyn: "I hate vacuuming! It's just following around a loud noise!"

Can't wait to collect a few kid comments of our own.
In the meantime, I will laugh with you and yours. Have any kid comments to share?

7 comments:

brandilyn said...

one time i subbed for a class of 4 year olds in primary and the teacher gave a lesson on being kind to animals. she asked the class what different things we used animals for, i.e., companionship, seeing eye dogs, etc. one little boy raised his hand and said, "well, the chicken starts running around, so you have to catch him and then take his head off. then you can pull the feathers off and peel his skins back.." and totally started detailing how to slaughter a chicken! i was torn between gagging and laughing. only in idaho.

Lynsi said...

Kayla say all kinds of funny things but one of my recent favorite was when I put a little juice in a cup for Jaxson because he was having tummy issues...
K:mom is that for humans?
Me: Jaxson is a human.
K: Oh, he is not a baby anymore?

Can't wait to see how the new workout routine goes!

Stephanie said...

I dreamed you two adopted my cousins baby...but I'll let you know if she decides to go that direction.

As for silly things my kid would rather go home and go to bed than even give Santa a high five to get a treat.

but my fav quote this week was:
"Mama my thumb sad, go'ouchies"
"oh what happened? You kiss it better?"
"No, thumb want treat"
I felt her logic was sound I just couldn't stop laughing to answer

Keli Anne said...

During my senior year of high school, I helped out in a 5th grade class. One day, I walked into the classroom while the teacher was going over the answers to some sort of quiz. It turned out the kids had taken a sample test that people normally take to become citizens of the U.S.A. (it was a social studies activity). One of the questions was "Can you name the original 13 colonies of the United States?" One student answered (in all seriousness), "YES." Ha ha ha! The teacher and I got a good laugh out of that one!

Liz-a-nator said...

My blog title is based on something my best friend said about me when we were 3. =)

Also, we work in the Primary, and there are some fun things that happen there. The other day, one of our kids told me he knew a secret language. When I asked him what it was called, he said "The...um...the treasure death language."

Also, rock on for exercise. I'm going to be an overprotective friend and tell you to be careful, and listen to your body so that it can heal too. But I think it's an awesome idea.

Amber said...

haha! Thanks everyone for your stories! Killing me!
Liz- thanks for watching out for me. :) Yeah, we already decided I need to start small and do the intense stuff later when my body has had a while to heal and get stronger. I'm just excited!

MaShay & Jason said...

This is my favorite that my little niece said to her mom:

Julie:"Anabelle, you made SUCH a mess of Dad's music".
Anabelle: "Oh, Mom. That's nothing you need to cry about".